Tiamat's Favorite Food is pancakes. You may think its giant goat, or kraken tentacles, or even mortal heroes, but no its pancakes. Freshly made, perfectly round, and covered in butter and syrup. She cannot get enough of them. This seemingly mortal obsession with a breakfast treat drives her mad with no end.
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Pancake Palooza
In 792 PR, an avatar of Tiamat was summoned into the city of Dolmvay, and, as expected, began tearing through the streets. Soldiers fled, buildings burned, and screams filled the air. But just as the five-headed terror prepared to fly off to the king's citadel in Dolmvay, Tiamat's white dragon head suddenly froze.
A curious scent had drifted on the wind. A small diner.
The Short Stack, a cozy little all-day breakfast spot run by the halfling couple Milo and Poppy Honeywhistle. Tiamat ate Milo and Poppy Honeywhistle. But when they turned their neck to destroy the diner in a blast of freezing ice, their enhanced smell caught a whiff of what was inside. Milo and Poppy were attempting to magically boost their pancake output when the commotion started. Naturally, the spell went catastrophically wrong. Thousands of pancakes erupted like a fluffy, buttery avalanche. The diner was bursting at the seems with pancakes their were so many. There were so many pancakes that Steve, the unfortunate desk clerk, disappeared entirely beneath them.
The white dragon head tore through the roof in a frenzy of gleaming teeth and pure fascination. Pancakes everywhere, stacked, covered in melted butter, oozing syrup, hiding Steve’s screaming legs, it was beautiful. With wild abandon, the white head devoured pancakes by the dozens, occasionally pausing to snort indignantly at a slightly burnt one. Steve, by now, was less of a concern and more of an after-dinner garnish. With that, Tiamat flew to the king's citadel.
Tiamat's white head tore the roof of the diner and was entranced at the sight. Pancakes upon pancakes upon pancakes upon Steve the desk clerk who had been crushed by the pancakes. With wild abandon Tiamat's white head feasted on the pancakes and was instantly obsessed with them. After picking the diner clean and eating Steve's body as an after dinner snack, Tiamat flew to the king's citadel in Dolmvay.
By the time the other four heads got around to strategizing about conquering Dolmvay, the white head was still rambling about fluffiness, butter ratios, and the perfect golden-brown hue. The blue head, who was the closest to the white head and so got the loudest earful, listened and was intrigued. The other heads were less amused. “We’re supposed to be destroying the city, not obsessing over breakfast!” growled the red dragon head. The black head merely spat bile in disgust, while the green head rolled her eyes. They could not continue the conversation further though, for it was at that moment Tiamat was attacked and destroyed by the combined forces of the heroes of Dolmvay, Kragnux, and Vecna.
The Pancake Obsession Worsens aka The Repeated Kidnappings and Devourings of Pancake Chefs
Even in her lair beneath Kiston, Tiamat could not forget the taste of the Dolmvay pancakes. Warm, soft, buttery, impossibly sweet… she dreamed of syrup rivers and mountains of fluff. Thoughts of butter and sweet syrup oozing of the pancakes made her mouth water more then any mortal had before. Finally, she summoned her servant, the black dragon Mezzaak, with a single terrifying command:
“Find me pancakes. The perfect pancakes. The knowledge to pancake forging. A pancake smith. Or die trying.”
Mezzaak first scoured the Cult of the Dragon, hoping someone had magical baking chops and hoping that his search would be short. Thirteen cultists later (all regrettably consumed), it was clear that no one knew how to make pancakes. When you dedicate your lives to serving dragons, you don't have a lot of time to practice your cooking.
Mezzaak then made his way to Osugbo and to the city of Ravel. Using their draconic strength, they broke open the roof of the first tavern they found and kidnapped an Orcish bar and innkeeper named Gruk. Bringing Gruk back to Tiamat, Mezzaak forced Gruk to make pancakes. Gruk’s pancakes, sadly, were dense, soggy, and vaguely offended the dragon palette. So, of course, Mezzaak returned for another chef. And another. And another.
Eventually, they kidnapped a Halfing named Gip Bittlebottom, a local baker in Ravel. And the pancakes Gip were able to make were divine, the perfect balance of fluff, warmth, and buttery goodness. The white dragon head wept tears of joy. The blue head, never to be outdone, demanded a second helping. Even the green dragon head eventually conceded, murmuring something about “tolerable, I suppose.” The red and black dragon heads remained unimpressed, muttering about conquest and ruin. They did not care for the breakfast treat for the pancakes turned to ask and bile in their mouths respectively. But they were outvoted by the majority. Gip, understandably terrified, was enslaved to produce pancakes daily, with a team of cultists assigned to assist and to replace him if necessary.
Mezzaak is terrified of what might happen to him if the quality of the pancakes ever goes down, or worse. Tiamat gets a new breakfast craving.
