| Player Name | Nell |
|---|---|
| Languages | Common, Elvish, Gnomish, Draconic |
| Marital Status | Unmarried |
| Date of Birth | 301 PR |
| Place of Birth | Whimbrel, East Levinkan |
| Species | Human |
| Gender | She/Her |
| Height | 5'6" |
| Weight | 120 lbs. |
| Eye Color | Blue |
Background[edit | edit source]
Unlike the wild and savage West Levinkan, East Levinkan remains an upstanding monarchy, loyal to the Levinkan Dynasty, and of course, the current Levinkan. A Gnomish clan originated the title, but at some point human blood got mixed in there and it has become a more diverse bloodline in the centuries since. Among this bloodline is the honorable Lord Remington DeCarlyle and his family. He may be a bit removed from the Levinkan - fourth cousin twice removed, to be precise - but he clings to that bloodline with the tenacity of a purebred bloodhound on a boar hunt. Are they on the outskirts of the nobility? Certainly. Are they the lowest rung on the elite social ladder? Absolutely. But are they making their way up in the world? With the swiftest speed manageable.
The easiest way to climb that social ladder, of course, is marrying one’s closer-to-the-top cousins. They thought they had a coup with their first born son’s marriage. Callum De Carlyle, oldest child and heir to the Estate, was married at age 19 to his second cousin Gloria Younger. Both were happy about the match, as were Lord and Lady DeCarlyle - until they realized that the Younger family was broke and in disgrace. This was unfortunate, as their second son, Maxwell, had already entered the Priesthood in the Pellorian Order. They spent some time trying to wrangle their third son into an advantageous marriage, but he temporarily cut ties with the family after a surprise wedding at Sunday church. Despite repairing relationships years later, he remains unmarried and focused on his merchant business. Unfortunately, the family had only been blessed with three sons, so they were forced to turn to their daughters.
Daughters are much harder to marry into higher families - especially when you have ten of them, and a limited fortune for investing in dowries. Their oldest daughter, Stella, married slightly up, helping the reputation of the entire family. Yasmina married down; her husband was a promising social climber. Imogen’s match didn’t hurt the family, but didn’t raise their status, either. Margaret was another blow - they were unable, even after several years, to arrange a suitable match. She quickly joined a sisterhood to try to reduce the scandal, but nonetheless, the word spread, especially when coupled with the Sebastian affair. Katherine’s marriage was suitable, but failed to produce children. Rose was forced to marry down, and then Susana refused marriage and - with even less grace than her elder brother - ran away in the night to study things that were entirely unsuitable for women to study. Relations have been chilly. This brings us to the family's last chance, their three youngest: Isadora and the twins. The three all came to courtship age at the same time, and all were known to be beautiful and talented, but considering the failure after failure from their family, suitors were hesitant. By the end of the season, by the skin of their teeth, the twins had acquired engagements. Which just left Isadora Maria Ana Collette Eloise.
Beautiful, distinguished, and gracious, many had expected her to be the first of the three to acquire a fiancé - but rumours had always gone around (recently encouraged by the twins) that she was also just a little bit strange. When she was younger, her family had laughed it off as a harmless, and possibly interesting, character quirk. “Come inside, Isadora,” her mother had once said, as the sun was finally setting. “It’s getting dark out. Don't you know that monsters live in the dark?”
Six-year old Isadora fixed her with a piercing stare. “More than monsters live in the dark,” she replied, and went racing down the hill towards the garden, until one of her brothers was tasked with bringing her back again.
Then there was the matter of her schooling. All of the young women in her family, if they liked, were allowed to study at one of the local religious orders. As was expected, all of them had stuck with the family patron, Pelor. And then stubborn Isadora, a fierce thirteen, insisted on apprenticing with the Corellon order. Still, even if it was a bit strange - a half-elven god? Moonlight? - at least it was still the god of beauty, and at least she was still learning all the proper arts for a young lady to learn.
Her schooling and eccentricities were bad enough, but then came the unpleasant encounter with Ben Albrecht - but the family worked incredibly hard to sweep it under the rug. They thought they had successfully showcased her as an excellent match, so it was to her and her parents’ great disappointment and surprise when the season came and went and she remained unbetrothed.
They suggested she simply become a Sister in an order - any order, they offered somewhat desperately, to her complete disinterest. Susana and Sebastian sponsored her application to a rather prestigious university, with the hope that she might finally apply her considerable magical and strategic talents. She agreed to attend - with the hopes that she might meet a suitable young man at such an institution.
In Game[edit | edit source]
Isadora attended the University of Xyneros, where she met her classmates Wynter, Willa, and Xuut, along with Professor Darwin, and the other faculty. Despite having her own suite, she usually stayed in the dorm with her classmates, sharing a room with Xuut and sleeping in the bed of the missing Hektor. She enjoyed studying higher levels of magic than had been available to her at the Temple, and quickly came to care for her classmates, even though she could never remember the sisters' names.
A few months after starting classes, they followed Professor Darwin out on a case and ended up falling through a portal and landing in a strange and ominous land - without their professors. They began to travel through the woods until they encountered two children begging them to go inside their house and save their family. They did manage to make it through the house alive, with a new dog by the name of Chair in tow, although Isadora touched a sacrificed infant and they all had to slay it, as it transformed into a shambling flesh mound. By the time they made it back outside, the ghost children were gone.
It was shortly after this that they entered the village of Barovia. They encountered an old woman known only as Granny who sold them several pies, guaranteed to cause wonderful dreams. They then headed into the tavern, to see what they could learn. This is where they first met Ismark Kolyanovich, with whom Isadora was immediately smitten. He asked them to escort his younger sister Irina to the nearby city of Vallaki, where she might be safe from the constant advances of Lord Strahd Von Zarovich, alternately known as "the Devil" or "the Land." First, they had to help bury the siblings' father. They did so at the nearby church, where Isadora learned a prayer from the god worshipped by most of the local citizens, the Morninglord. They also encountered the priest at the town, who had clearly lost his mind and was focused only on containing and feeding his vampire son. They decided not to get involved. While they were staying in the village, Isadora sampled the dream pies and was immediately addicted to
The next day, they set out for Vallaki with Irina in tow. Isadora was immediately fond of her, and she proved to be a valuable ally in combat. On their way, they stopped at the Vistani encampment and had their fortunes read by Madame Eva. In addition to their group reading, which offered advice on defeating Strahd, Isadora received a personal reading. Her two cards were the Hanged Man for her past, symbolizing a hidden past that must be released for freedom, and the Healer, which symbolized creating a home and healing for those around her.
ENCOUNTERING THE HAGS AND SAVING THE CHILDREN
Upon arriving in the city of Vallaki, Isadora and Xuut got into a loud argument in the streets, and the pair were promptly arrested by city guards and taken to the prison, which was mostly full of dead bodies. While in prison, they received a missive from Lady Wachter, who promised to help them escape. Sure enough, there was a distraction later that night, and Xuut and Isadora were able to make a prison break and reunite with the others at the Blue Water Inn. They brought news of Lady Wachter, and together, set out to visit her residence.
Lady Wachter was clearly a powerful woman, and she agreed with them that the current Burgermeister of Vallaki was a terrible man. She told them of her plans to usurp him - and offered them a job: kill his bodyguard. They accepted, and did so - but quickly realized their mistake, as this allowed Wachter to usher Lord Strahd into the city. The group fled in terror.
VISTANI & OLD JENNY
They had been asked by Irwin and Danica, owners of Blue Water Inn, to check in on their family at the Wizard of Wines vineyard to the west. They travelled there and encountered a hoard of zombified plant-creatures. They did manage to clear out the infestation, but Willa and Isadora both fell during this battle. Isadora experienced a vision of being hung upside down by chains and dipped repeatedly into a vat of acid, while hearing her friends calling out for her, out of reach. A mysterious voice asked her if she wanted to go back - she agreed, and immediately returned to her body. Her eyes, however, were darkly scarred and glassy, as she had lost much of her vision in exchange. This was also when she finally confronted the voice she had been hearing in her dreams, making all sorts of offers and reassurances if she would accept its help and agree to kill Count Strahd. She did so, and immediately gained a great deal of strength and health.
After the Wizard of the Wines encounter, they received an invitation to a dinner with Strahd, at Castle Ravenloft. After some disagreement, they ultimately accepted this invitation, and climbed into his cart to attend. They did pause once on the way - as they encountered the fields outside the city of Vallaki, filled with dead and dying citizens on spikes. Isadora and Xuut made their way through, lifting any living children they could find down and trying to stabilize them. They put all of the children into the cart, and sent it off to the village of Barovia where they hoped they could be helped by a proper healer, then journeyed onto the castle.
The dinner itself was terrifying - made even more so by Xuut and Wynter's refusal to play nice. Isadora ultimately cast Calm Emotions to keep them from antagonizing him further. After dinner, they retired to a ballroom where they danced for some time. Isadora danced with the Count himself, and was unable to resist his charming magic - despite her efforts, she revealed a great deal of their planning to him.
After dinner, they were escorted back to a sitting room. The group had received a letter to let them know that they were not alone in the castle, and a servant promised to bring back some information to them. They grew uneasy with how long they were left waiting, however, and against Isadora's wishes, Xuut and Wynter rushed off to make an escape attempt. She and Willa followed but the plan failed, and Xuut and Wynne fell. Presumably after making deals of their own, they both returned, however, and they decided to try again to escape - this time, simply by making their way through the castle. It was then that they finally encountered Hektor, chained and imprisoned in the Count's basement. They were able to rescue him and make their escape.
They headed to the village of Barovia, where they hoped they might find Ismark and rest in safety. When they arrived, however, the first thing they encountered was one of the hags. They immediately launched into an attack, and were able to successfully slay her. This was a short lived triumph, as the next thing they found was an enormous pile of bodies outside of the church - left by the priest's vampire son whom they had let live. The fear and disappointment only grew as they visited the Burgermeister's manor to find Ismark missing. They did encounter a new ally - Ezmerelda D'Avenir, a Vistani monster-slayer, friend of Ismark and apprentice to Van Richten.
OTHER TWO HAGS, REGAINING SOUL & FIRST THANE, SECOND DEATH
STOPPING BACK IN VELLAKI, MEETING BLUNDA
REACHING YESTERHILL, WATCHING ISMARK DIE
TAKING ISMARK TO THE TOWER, RESURRECTION
ARKENVOST MANOR, THIRD DEATH
RESURRECTION, MEETING ATHENA, RETURNING TO IRENA/ISMARK AT THE TOWER
Other Writings[edit | edit source]
A small collection of third person stories/snippets can be read at this link. Content includes mentions of neglectful parenting and eating disorders.
Diary[edit | edit source]
Isadora has kept a diary since she was a child.
Flamerule 12, 219
Dear Diary,
Hello! My name is Isadora Maria Ana Colette Eloise de Carlyle, and I am very pleased to meet you. I would do a curtsy if you could see me. I’m eight years old and I live with my family (my parents and twelve siblings and seven servants and many animals) in the kingdom of East Levinkan in the town of Whimbrel.. I like dancing and painting and playing in the woods. My favorite color is blue and my favorite food is sugar cubes which I steal from Mama at tea! I also study many things, fencing and curtsying and reading and mathematics and piano forte and lots more, and it’s always fun for a little while, but then Governess Greystone says I get “wriggly.” My favorite season is spring, which is also when my birthday is! My big sister Katherine bought you for me at the market and I promise to write every day. Or almost every day. But now Sebastian and Yasi want to go ride horses so I’m going to go! It was very nice to meet you.
Love,
Isadora
Eleasis 2, 219
Dear Diary,
Sisters are absolutely terrible! I bet you would agree, if diaries had sisters. Zara and Felicity tripped me and I got dirt all over my dress on the way to church and then I pulled Zara’s hair and scratched Felicity so Papa yelled at me. He told me we have to represent Pelor and the de Carlyles and Arlionne whenever we’re out and about. Mama didn’t care but that’s because she was drunk. That’s what Susana says. But when I cried about it Mama promised to buy me sweets on the way home from church and she did so now I have sweets. Can I tell you a secret? I don’t like church very much. It’s stuffy and boring and I have to sit still and quiet and not do anything. I wish I could go to the temple of Corellon. There’s music and singing and dancing and stuff and Stella told me they usually worship at night! I love night. Church would be way more fun if I could go at night. Anyways, that’s all for today. Zara and Felicity said they’re sorry and they want to play so I’m going to go now.
Love,
Isadora
Marpenoth 11, 219
Dear Diary,
Sebastian has gone away and I think I could cry for a whole year. It’s all Mama’s fault. She wants him to get married, which is so stupid,, I can’t even imagine Seb getting married, and she made him so mad that he ran away. He left a letter for me and in it he told me that he loves me very much and he didn’t say goodbye because if he did he didn’t know if he would go through with it and he promised to write all the time and that someday maybe I would be allowed to come visit him. Everyone is sad. Mama has locked herself in her room and not come out for two whole days which is good because I would probably spit in her face and get in loads of trouble, and Papa went away to visit a friend, and all of my brothers and sisters are mad or sad or mean right now. Maxwell even came home to try to take care of us and it’s nice to see him but I miss Sebastian! I miss him SO MUCH I don’t know what to say or do.
Love,
Isadora
Uktar 25, 219
Dear Diary,
Governess Greystone said that we have all done quite enough feeling sorry for ourselves and set up a game night. They’re always the best! It’s extra cold out right now so we lit the fireplace and the dogs came in too and we were allowed to have an extra helping of dessert while we played, although we’re not allowed to tell Mama. Imogen cheats at games sometimes, but she’s really good so usually no one else notices and she bribes me with sweets not to tell. I’m best at charades, and that’s my favorite game to play! We got to stay up extra late and you could see all the stars outside the windows and even though it was sad to not have Sebastian here to play with us, it was still a lot of fun. I love my family and I hope we stay like this always!
Love,
Isadora
Mirtul 14, 220
Dear Diary,
Today was a very very great day! It was the Fae Festival which meant I got to wear my very prettiest dress and Carrie who’s our maid did my hair extra nice and then we went and danced the maypole and picked flowers and ate lots of good food. Yasi played some tricks on people and I got to help. Ben was there, he’s my friend from a noble family a town over, and we played Knights together! And best of all, we got to stay outside extra late. The sky was pink and then purple and the stars came out bit by bit and the moon rose up and it was a little cool out but the fireflies are starting to come out and all you have to do to warm up is run around trying to catch one! I wanted to run away into the forest and not come back until morning but Stella and Callum caught me and brought me home, but that’s okay because I’m really rather tired.
Love,
Isadora
Kythorn 5, 220
Dear Diary,
I’m going to be an aunt!!! Callum’s wife Gloria is pregnant, which actually seems pretty terrible to me. She’s sick a lot and she mostly lays around on the couch with a wet washcloth on her forehead. And I don’t know if she and Callum like each other very much anymore. They did at first, but then there was The Thing with Gloria’s family. I only kind of understand it because no one has explained it properly to me but her family doesn’t have a lot of money and they lied to Papa and Callum about it. But Mama and Papa don’t like each other very much either and everything has worked out alright so it will work out for Callum and Gloria and the baby too. And I’m going to be the very best aunt of all!
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 14, 220
Dear Diary,
Stella’s getting married! I’m so excited for another wedding. Callum’s was one of my favorite days of my life. I was the flower girl! Stella probably won’t let me be the flower girl again but I’ll still get to dress up so pretty and eat so much good food and dance for hours! And I finally met her fiance (what a pretty fancy word) named Oscar and he was very nice and brought sweets for me and Fel and Zara and Susana and Rose. Stella acts so silly and awkward around him and we all make fun of her for it, but she tells us that someday when we have to do our duty to the family we’ll understand too. Susana told me that she’s just like Seb and she’s never getting married. This made me cry a little bit because I don’t want her to go away too, but she promised me that when she ran away, she would take me with her, so that made me feel better.
Love,
Isadora
Hammer 12, 221
Dear Diary,
AHHHHHHHH!!!! Callum Xavier Axa Erik Varys de Carlyle the Second is here! I’m going to call him Cal, because he’s the little Callum. Mama brought us all to the Younger estate, and it’s okay here, but not nearly as nice as ours, and we have to be very quiet and polite and respectful. Gloria screamed for hours and hours and hours, it sounded absolutely miserable but Stella keeps telling us that it’s for the good of the family and we’ll all be so happy to have children of our own someday. And now that the baby’s here it’s so exciting! I got to hold him for a few minutes until he started crying and then the nursemaid took him back. Everyone always says I’m the baby of the family but now there’s a literal baby! Even Gloria and Callum seemed to be getting along while they played with him. Well, kind of played. He can’t really play yet but everyone tells me he’ll be a lot of fun in a few years. Katherine didn’t really want to hold the baby but Zara and Felicity made fun of her until she did anyways. Even though they’re younger than her she still lets her bully them. Stella and Margaret say that they’re going through a difficult phase and they’ll mature soon, but I think they’ve been in a difficult phase for their whole lives! But I love them anyways. And I love Callum and Gloria and Cal! I have the best family in the world! Papa is so happy that Callum had a son.
Love,
Aunt Isadora
Eleasis 4, 222
Dear Diary,
Now Stella is going to have a baby! She’s so happy about it, and so is Oscar. Papa and Mama are happy, although not as much as they were for Callum. It’s going to be strange, though, because their baby will be at their estate, not here at home. It makes me think about how all of my siblings are going to grow up and leave. Callum is the oldest, which means he gets our home and staff and lands and everything, so he’ll never leave. I love our house! It’s big and beautiful and you can see the sunset from my window and our ballroom is perfect for enormous parties and you could play in the gardens and forest for hours. When I grow up and have to move away, I’d better move into a house that’s even more beautiful than ours. And even bigger! I want to have somewhere for Cal and Stella’s baby to come play hide and go seek. I hope they’re good friends. I wouldn’t have any friends without my siblings. I’m kind of scared for when they all go away.
Love,
Isadora
Marpenoth 24, 223
Dear Diary,
I think I have magic, just like Maxwell. Which is really neat! I always thought it was the coolest thing in the whole world when he would heal me if I scraped my knee or anything. I haven’t told anyone yet, because I haven’t really figured out what I can do yet. But my fingers get sparky sometimes, mostly in the evenings. They shoot off tiny little white lights and feel a little warm and glowy when I press them to my face. I don’t really know how I make it happen except think really hard about it? And then my stomach kind of feels swoopy and then my fingers light up. Once I did it by accident when I was really angry and they were black sparks instead and they felt really cold when I put them on my cheek, and kind of stung, and left red marks for a few hours. I don’t think Maxwell could do anything like that, but even though it scared me a little, I still liked how it felt. I’m going to practice in the evenings and when I get better at controlling it, I’ll show Mama and Papa. I hope they’re impressed.
Love,
Isadora
Kythorn 4, 224
Dear Diary,
Now that I’m starting to get good at my magic, Mama says I should be apprenticed to the Pellorian Order, just like Maxwell. I don’t want to learn with the boring old Pelorians! I’ll tear up every dress and cut off all my hair if she makes me. They probably won’t be able to teach me anything anyways. I wrote to Sebastian about it and he told me to give her what-for and to go sign myself up for the Corellon Temple. I want to, but what will Mama do? She might be angry with me, or angry with herself, and either way she’ll drink more. But. every time I walk past that beautiful temple, with its vineyards and singing and beautiful stained glass windows - I feel drawn to it! As if I’m in one of Katherine’s novels! They’ll know how to teach me, I just know it. Perhaps Seb is right. Maybe tomorrow I’ll just go talk to them..
Love,
Isadora
Kythorn 7, 224
Dear Diary,
I did it! I did it! I did it! I didn’t just talk to them - I signed up! I mean, I did talk to them at first, and they took me on a tour of their temple which was SO beautiful, and they introduced me to some students who were all older, maybe Susana’s age, but they were all very kind to me, and they asked to see my magic, and I showed them, and they said they would love to have me study there and I said alright! I haven’t told Mama or Papa yet. They won’t be very happy with me. But Sebastian will be so proud! And I told Susana and she thinks it’s the greatest thing ever. I’m so excited!
Love,
Isadora
PS: I told Papa and Mama and they were really angry and I’m not allowed to go to the next faire, but they said what’s done is done and I can study there! I’m going to study with the Corellons!!!
PPS: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Kythorn 30, 224
Dear Diary,
It’s almost a month that I’ve been studying at the Temple of Corellon and I love it! I go almost every day for at least an hour or two. Sometimes I have to sit still and study religion, but sometimes we just sing, or they send me out to work in the garden, or they give me very small lessons on very small magic. I walk myself to and from the temple, and sometimes some of the commoner boys will point and laugh at me but I just stick my tongue out and keep going because they don’t know anything at all anyways. I’ve started praying to Corellon instead of Pelor at night and I like it much better. He’s never shown up to talk to me or anything, but I feel just a little warm and glowy, like maybe he’s watching. I bet he would like me. I bet he would be like a nice big brother. He likes nighttime, just like me, and beauty, and I”m very beautiful! That’s what Mama and Papa tell me. That’s all I really have to say! I LOVE BEING A CORELLONIAN! (That’s not what they’re actually called but I like the way it sounds!)
Love,
Isadora
Uktar 3, 224
Dear Diary,
I did something really bad. This is the first time I’ve been able to write in several weeks, so I’m sorry for not telling you about it earlier. I couldn’t write because my arms were hurt. I could barely even feed myself, which was rather humiliating. But to tell the truth, I was so upset I barely wanted to eat. It was really, truly terrible, and I’m honestly afraid to tell you.
My arms are aching anyways.
Isadora
Uktar 10, 224.
Dear Diary,
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written again. I can’t blame my arms. I don’t want to tell you about the bad thing I did. I’m sorry.
Isadora
Uktar 17, 224.
Dear Diary,
Alright. Here we go. I’m just going to write it down and then maybe I can stop thinking about it.
I hurt Ben. Really badly. I haven’t seen him since. Mama tells me he’s going to be alright, but he screamed so loud, I’d never heard anything like it. We were at the Harvest Festival, and I was showing off some magic, just for fun, and he started making fun of me like always, and then - I don’t know what happened but I couldn’t control it and he was screaming and I had to pull my own arms off of him and that’s how I hurt myself really badly, my hands and my arms and my sides too, but that’s still better than how I touched Ben on his face and neck and shoulder. He was still screaming when they pulled him away and he was all black and burned, everywhere I touched him, just like my skin is. I asked if I could see him when he was feeling better and Mama told me I would not be allowed to see him for a very long time. Mama and Papa have been avoiding me ever since. I didn’t tell Sebastian what happened, but I think someone did because he’s written loads. I won’t open any of his letters, though, because if he’s disappointed in me I might just die. Callum is busy with the new baby and Stella is hours away at the Sambridge’s and Maxwell wrote to me but I won’t open his letters either. Yasi and Imogen and Margaret keep trying to make me feel better but they’re courting right now so they’re gone most of the time. Katherine and Rose and Susana have tried to help but I keep getting angry and then yelling at them and then feeling bad about it. Zara and Felicity were really nice at first, and then they were really mean - they told me that I’m a witch, and now that I’m ugly no one will want to marry me and I won’t be able to do anything for the family - and then they felt really bad and apologized, but I’m still not talking to them yet. But I’m not really talking to anyone. I mostly just stay in my room. Every time I try to pray, I start to cry. I haven’t gone back to the temple, either, and I won’t be surprised if the temple throws me out, and if I can’t study with the Corellons and I can’t get married, then I don’t know what I’ll do.
Isadora
Nightal 1, 224
Dear Diary,
Sister Wren came to our house this morning. She demanded to see me, and told me that the Temple had allowed me a month to recover but it was time to return. I told her I thought I wouldn’t be allowed to, and we sat down and had a long talk about how making one mistake doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person, and really that it just means I need to study more so that I don’t do so again. She brought me a beautiful pair of gloves, and told me that they would hide my scars and help remind me of the beauty and light of Corellon within. I may not be as beautiful anymore, but when I’m wearing the gloves, you can’t tell. I’m so happy to go back. Today, I had dinner with all of my siblings who were home, and our Governess Maria set up board games by the fire afterwards and we played for hours. I’m even talking to Zara and Felicity again.. I opened all the letters from Maxwell and Sebastian and they both love me very much. Maxwell encouraged me to rededicate myself to Corellon and try to pray, which I will do tonight before bed. Sebastian told me I should leave home to go to school, he says I’m very smart and very talented and need more education than I get at home. I’m not going to do that but it made me feel better that he thinks I’m smart. Susana and Katherine are the smart ones, not me. But still, I can’t wait to go back to the Temple tomorrow to return to my studies. I’m starting to fall asleep, so it is bedtime. Goodnight!
Love,
Isadora
Hammer 6, 225
Dear Diary,
I have to admit, I’m rather ashamed of myself. Over the last few months, I’ve been so caught up in my own thoughts that I haven’t been paying much attention to the rest of my family, and not everything is alright. Yasmina and Imogen both got betrothed, and Papa is grumbling that their matches bring little honor to the family, and even worse, Margaret didn’t get betrothed at all. Susana told me she’s been crying herself to sleep every night because no one wants to marry her. Mama has taken ill again and we’ve hardly seen her in weeks. Yasi quite likes her fiance, I think, but Imogen spends a lot of time sighing sadly and writing in her diary. Susana told me she thinks Imogen is in love with the gardener’s apprentice, and Susana is the best at figuring out how everyone is feeling, so I believe her. I actually aksed Im about it, and she snapped at me that we all have to do what’s best for the family, and feelings don’t matter anyways, and at least Bishop has more money to his name than Anthony does. Bishop’s her fiance and their family is nobility just like us. Anthony is Yasi’s fiance, and their family isn’t quite as fine as ours but Su says he’s a scholar and inventor and he’s going to make loads of money soon and that’s why Yasmina’s allowed to marry him. I met him for the first time recently and he was quite nice; I think he’d get along rather well with Sebastian if they ever met. But I’m forgetting about Margaret again. Which is really the problem, she’s so kind but so quiet and everyone forgets about her. Even Zara and Felicity are being extra nice to her right now. Mama says she’s going to become a Sister in the Pelorian Order, just like Maxwell. Except Maxwell wanted to and I don’t think Margaret does. She doesn’t argue, though. Papa won’t speak to her. It all makes me feel rather sick.
Love,
Isadora
Alturiak 4, 225
Dear Diary,
Margaret has gone away. They promised she would return to the Arlionne temple after her training, at least. And I must admit, even though she’s not happy about it, I’m a bit jealous of her getting to travel. She promised she’d write me all about it. The mood is a bit somber. Yasmina and Imogen have begun wedding planning, and almost all of our lessons are now about the Game. That’s what they call it, the season of courting: the Game, using any tools at your disposal to find the best match available. Beauty, humour, wit, intelligence, riches, blackmail - anything is fair in love and war, that’s what Mama says. Stella visits often to give us lessons. Of course, it will be Katherine, Rose, and Susana first - but it’s important for Zara and Fel and I to get a head start, in case things don’t go well for our older sisters. Papa sat us all down recently and told us it was time for us to start seriously thinking about our futures, and our family. Marriage is the most important thing we can do. It’s our duty, and our honor, and it will bring us happiness. Susana hates it all. She gets in trouble every single day now, fighting with Mama and Papa and Stella and our tutors. She keeps telling me not to listen and I don’t really know what to think. I want to make my family proud, and it would be fun to have a big estate and host enormous parties and use money to help people. I’m glad I have a few more years to watch the others and figure it all out.
Love,
Isadora
Mirtul 13, 226
Dear Diary,
It is officially the first courting season for Rose and Katherine and Susana. They’ll have next year as well, if matches can’t be secured this year, but unofficially, things have already been arranged for Katherine. Gideon Blakesely made his intentions towards her very clear very early on. Mama was a bit disappointed - “that’s not how the game works” she said - but Papa was happy enough. He lives a bit farther away than we all would like; she’ll be the furthest away of anyone (except Sebastian, of course), but his family is good enough. Rose has her heart set on Charles Evergreen, but Mama and Stella keep warning her that he’s almost certainly to be betrothed to Cecily Goodwin who’s in far better standing. David Bentley seems rather interested in her, and I think they’d be a rather sweet couple, even if he’s not as rich as Papa would want. Zara and Felicity are so excited for our season, even though it’s not for two years, and I’ve been starting to get caught up in the excitement as well. Zara lent me one of her romance novels, and it is simply thrilling! I always imagined marriage as a kind of job, and it is, but if I could find love like in these books, it would be the greatest job in the world. Susana is being a bit of a spoilsport, and I love her so much but even she and I are fighting, for the first time.
Things at the temple are getting exciting as well. Now that I’ve been there for two years, I’m finally starting to end the basic religion lessons and learn more about magic. I’m finally old enough for the other students to take me seriously as well. I don’t really have any friends there yet, but perhaps I will soon!
Love,
Isadora
Flamerule 24, 226
Dear Diary,
Susana has run away. Just like Sebastian, in the middle of the night. I haven’t seen him in person since he left, and my heart is breaking at the thought of years without seeing Su as well. Who else will race me to the top of the trees, and sneak out at night, and cheer on my secret plans, and know our inside jokes? She left a small bracelet for me, woven from threads from each of our favorite dresses, blue and purple together. I don’t like to wear anything other than my gloves on my hands, and it’s too hard to hide around my ankle, so I can’t even wear it. I will carry it with me anyway. Mama got outrageously drunk at dinner the other night and threw a glass at the wall. Papa walked out and didn’t come back for two days. And Callum is busy with his children and Stella and Yas and Im and Margaret are away at their own homes. Katherine and Rose are beginning to plan for their weddings. Zara and Felicity don’t have much time for me. It’s very lonely here. Max wrote and promised to come visit and teach me more constellations. I hope he arrives soon.
Love,
Isadora
Marpenoth 11, 226
Dear Diary,
There’s nothing I love more than a party. Katherine’s wedding was a wild affair, and I think she probably had the least fun of everyone. Best of all, all of my siblings were in the same place - even Sebastian and Susana came back. Diary, it’s the first time I’ve seen Sebastian in years. His hair is longer now, and he’s so much taller, and he looks so much happier. He brought his notebook and all sorts of little inventions to show me what he’s been working on. He runs a store with a friend from the city, Robert. He creates the artifacts and Robert sells them and manages the business side of things. Susana is staying with them while she applies to schools! Can you believe that? Mama and Papa weren’t particularly happy to have them there but the rest of us were thrilled, even Stella. The children had so much fun.- Cal, Audrey, Giles, Lawrence, Fergus. It’s so interesting to see how traits travel through blood. Even though he’s Callum’s son, Cal reminds me far more of Yasmina in his mischief, while Giles is so similar to Maxwell, quiet and curious and smart, even at his age. Audrey is so like Stella, a bit bossy but well meaning, and Lawrence is his father through and through: endlessly patient. Fergus is so young, I can’t wait to see who he ends up like. Maybe he’ll be like me! It was truly an enormous party. I was able to slip away into the forest in the evening and spend some time on my own, admiring the falling leaves and pulling up my skirt to wade in the creek. I was even able to pick out some of the constellations Maxwell taught me as the sun fell.
Love,
Isadora
Ches 12, 227
Dear Diary,
I hate being the youngest! I hate being a girl! I hate going to class and I hate my siblings and I hate hate hate being a de Carlyle! I’m so angry I could burst.
Okay, I took a few deep breaths. I must admit, I feel angry a lot now. And sometimes sad and sometimes happy. Stella says that it’s perfectly normal and I won’t feel so crazy soon. But right now I could just explode! My hands were even sparking a little bit; I put my gloves on to calm them down and tried to do the prayer that Max taught me and it helped a little.
I can’t help but get angry at Mama and Papa, though. I really do hate them a little bit. Mama got so drunk she passed out on the floor in front of the fireplace and Cal found her first and just sat there shaking her and crying until I found them both and dumped cold water on her to wake her up. When we had more servants, they would have taken care of it, but we’ve had to let go of everyone except the children’s nursemaid and the cook and one housemaid.
Papa has been gone for days. He’s supposed to be helping Callum take care of things but he doesn’t very often. I don’t know where he goes when he leaves but he always comes back drunk and smelling of smoke and heavy perfume. Callum tells me that they didn’t used to be like this when he was little, but they had too many children and lost too much money.
But I should be grateful too. Corellon would want me to be. So even though I get angry at my siblings I love them, and our beautiful home, and my magic. And of course, my books. I think I’m going to go take a walk before bed.
Love,
Isadora
Marpenoth 14, 228
Dear Diary,
Katherine made a rather surprising confession to me while she was home visiting. Mama was getting on her case about when children are coming, as she and Gideon have been married for a full year now. Stella has been suggesting doctors and teas and all sorts of strange things. But while Katherine and I were out walking, I mentioned that perhaps it wasn’t so terrible she wasn’t having a child yet - she wouldn’t have to go through, quite frankly, the nightmare of pregnancy, and she and Gideon seem to prefer a quiet life. She stopped walking and grabbed my arm and stared at me very intensely. “You can keep a secret, can’t you, Dora?” she asked (I hate when anyone calls me that but my entire family does). I told her yes, of course, and she told me that she and Gideon didn’t want children at all. That they are making sure they don’t have any. I didn’t know that was something you could do. You get married, and then you have children, and that’s what your life is, I thought. And most of the rest of my sisters seem so thrilled with their children or the potential children they will have. “Won’t that bring shame?” I asked her. “To you and our family?” And I must have sounded more judgmental than I meant, because she simply shook her head at me, and looked at me with pity. I hate being pitied. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, and to be quite honest, I don’t care what they think of the de Carlyles, either. I just want you to know, when it’s your turn, that there are other options.” And then we kept walking, and she clearly didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I will have to think on this further. I think I should be upset, but the thought is exciting.
Love,
Isadora
Nightal 29, 228
Dear Diary,
I’m sorry if I spell anything wrong tonight. I am a bit - drunk! Can you believe that? Oh my goodness. I understand why Mama likes this. I feel so light and warm and silly. I’m not at home right now, I’m at the temple, ,I slipped away to write for a bit. I decided to celebrate the new year at the temple instead of at home this year, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made! The Temple has a winery, I’ve had a few sips before but I’ve never been allowed to drink much, but all the students have gathered out in the field around a bonfire and are singing and acting foolish and passing bottles around and it felt just like a scene out of a novel so I drank some! I wonder if Corellon is watching us tonight, if He would be proud of me. I think He would enjoy this party, and drink wine with us, and sing in front of the fire.
It is almost midnight and I can hear the others cheering. I’m going to go join them. Happy New Year, diary.
Love,
Isadora
Alturiak 2, 229
Dear Diary,
I’ve been feeling a little bit sad all winter. It’s so strange and quiet at home, even with Callum’s kids running around making a mess, now that everyone is gone except Zara and Felicity and me. And I still spend time with them sometimes, but they’ve always been closest with each other and sometimes they still get vicious with me. I thought I was going to be great friends with the other students at the Temple, especially after celebrating the new year together, but that hasn’t happened. I tried to talk to Zara and Fel about it and they told me it’s because all the other students there are commoners and they don’t understand what it’s like to be nobility. I wonder if they’re right, but I worry that it’s my fault, that I don’t know how to talk to them properly. I just feel like every time I try to have a conversation, things become so awkward. Mama has brought a new doctor in to see about my scars. She wants to take care of them before courting. He brings tinctures and ointments and pills and herbs for me. They aren’t working yet, but hopefully someday soon.. In her absence, I think I’m starting to turn into Katherine - I read all the time! Romance novels mostly, although I occasionally sneak into Papa’s study to borrow a book on magic or history. I have decided that I will write a novel someday! I thought about starting one now, but I feel that I should have some real life experience first.
Zara and Felicity want to go horse-back riding, and they’ve been rather nice to me all week, so I’m going to join them. Goodbye, diary - thank you for being my friend.
Love,
Isadora
Tarsakh 14, 230
Dear Diary,
,
Our courting is about to begin., mine and Zara’s and Felicity’s. Papa is so anxious. I have never seen him like this before. Mama, meanwhile, is the calmest I’ve ever seen her. They have made it very clear to us: we are the last hope of the family. If we do not find suitable matches who can elevate our family, we may lose our lands, our estate. Callum is working so hard to fix things, but it may not be enough. We spend all day every day on our makeup, our hair, our dresses, our manners, how to flirt, how to dance, how to manage a household. Mama tells us we’re the best of the family; she’s never been more proud and cannot wait to see what kinds of matches we secure. I’ve never been so busy, between my lessons at home and evenings spent at the Temple. I’m rather exhausted, to be honest. I’ve been carrying around the same romance novel for weeks, trying to find time to finish it and discover if Lord Roland truly loves Jayne, or is simply using her to get close to her sister. Truly, a gripping tale. Perhaps I can sneak in a few pages before bed.
Love,
Isadora
Eleasis 12, 230
Dear Diary,
I honestly do not understand why Susana ran away from this! This is the most exciting time of my life. Every day, a new gentleman takes me out. Noble-bred and noble-blood, all of them. They bring flowers, chocolates, gowns, gifts of all sorts. One of them, Richard, has been reading me poetry. Another, Sylvester, takes me on walks by the river. A third, Branson, likes to take me riding through the country. Of course, we are always accompanied by a chaperone. There are six different gentlemen I’ve been meeting with, and hopefully I should meet up to a dozen throughout the season! Several of them seem rather taken with me, if I do say so myself. Papa is thrille.d Zara and Felicity aren’t nearly as popular as I am - and I hate how happy that makes me. They have always been just a little bit prettier, cleverer, funnier - and yet I am the one with the most visitors. I haven’t fallen madly in love like in the romance novels yet, but that’s alright - I’m happy to start with a warm familiarity and see what grows from it. The only one I have truly detested is Manson, who chews with his mouth open and has never read a book in his life. I have rather enjoyed the company of all the rest, although I am a bit partial to Julius. His family is very wealthy and famous for their lavish parties. And he is undoubtedly the most handsome of them all. Still, I am hesitant to show too much interest - there are more gentlemen to meet, and Stella always instructed us to play a bit hard to get! I cannot wait to write back and update you.
Love,
Isadora
PS, The one thing I admit has been weighing heavily on my mind - this should have been Ben’s courting season as well, and he is nowhere to be found. I asked Mama about it and she told me the family’s hopes are on his younger brother now. I keep having nightmares where I see myself grabbing his face, hear his screaming - but this is in the past. I will say a prayer for him tonight.
Eleint 13, 230
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what has happened. I went from one of the most desirable ladies of the season to - nothing. Almost overnight, my suitors disappeared. All of them. They still come by, of course, but only for Z and Fel - they avoid my eyes when they see me. It is hard to describe my emotional state. At first, it took a few days to understand what had happened. I kept making up excuses: the weather is not nice, a cold has been going around, one of my more ardent suitors scared off the others - but it quickly became clear that this was not the case. I admit I spent a full day locked in my room in tears, but Mama quickly shook me out of it. It’s rather strange, actually - never in my life has she tried to support me like this, but I must admit, it feels rather nice. She says that a plan of action is all we need.; things like this happen sometimes. Meanwhile, I’ve doubled down on the regiment for my scars: more pills, more creams, more tinctures. None of them help. They itch and burn and make me feel ill, one even caused my entire side to become covered in scabs, but when they fell off, my skin was as frightening as ever underneath. Mama reassures me that no one knows about them and that can’t be the reason for my sudden Pariah status. I’ve been attending even more parties in the hope that a new gentleman will discover me, but I mostly stand on the sides of the room while everyone pretends that I’m not there. I’m not sleeping much: when I return home, I stay up until the early hours reading my romance books in the comfort of a candle and moonlight. I’m not even attending the Temple anymore, as the Courting is far too important. Papa has begun ignoring me, heaping attention on Z & F as the suitors come. to visit them. I tried writing to Susana and Sebastian about it, but they don’t quite sympathize - they tell me it’s for the better. They don’t understand. They didn’t want to be married. I do. Desperately. I want an estate and a position, I want a love story like in these books, and most of all, I want to make my family proud. I simply must try harder.
Love,
Isadora
Hammer 4, 230
Dear Diary,
Felicity is officially engaged to Julius Gedge - the man I was rather sweet on at the beginning of the season. Zara has two offers; Papa is deciding whether to approve of Darby Winchester or Ezekiel Moorehouse. He and Mama are pleased with them. Neither is the coup they would have dreamed of, but it’s enough to keep the family afloat for a little while longer while Callum continues to try to improve things.
I, of course, have no offers, no potential offers, and no suitors at all. Stella reminds me that I have next year, but she can’t explain what happened either. After the earlier burst of support, Mama has already given up on me. She is already talking about apprenticing me - she keeps encouraging me to look into Pelor like Max and Margaret, but “reassuring” me that Corellon will be perfectly acceptable. Perfectly acceptable, to be sent to a Sisterhood! Live in a Temple! Gods, I can’t think of anything worse. I’ve been brainstorming what I could be doing wrong, but I’ve been following all of our lessons and they seemed to like me at first. Unless that was a lie? A joke of some sort? Am I that poor of a prospect?
This is unacceptable. It must be righted.
Love,
Isadora
Ches 4, 230
Dear Diary,
I found out what happened during the courting season. I am speechless, for perhaps the first time in my life.
Diary, what happened is Zara and Felicity told everyone of my dark magic, my scars, the truth of the incident with Ben. My own sisters, spreading my darkest secrets for everyone to laugh at. I knew they could be cruel, but I never dreamt of something like this. Sabotaging the security of our family? My entire future?
Diary, I don’t know if I can ever speak to them again.
Loveless,
Isadora
Marpenoth 8, 230
Dear Diary,
I apologize for not writing for so long. It’s not just writing. I must admit, I have barely done a thing over the last few months. I sleep very late, eat on my own, do my duty in entertaining the children, eat an uncomfortable meal with the entire family, walk the gardens and forests as twilight sets, and then read late into the night. I have little energy, little willpower. I stare in the mirror at my body and hate it, hate that it is part of what has prevented me from reaching the heights I was supposed to. I visit the Temple once a week to pray, but that is all. Even my magic feels distant and distasteful to me. I think the others are growing worried about me. Not Mama and Papa, of course, they barely look at me aside from making comments about how happy Margaret is in the Sisterhood, and not Zara and Felicity - I haven’t spoken a word to either of them since I found out what they had done. But Callum and Gloria, bless her, she and my brother barely speak so there is no reason for her to be kind to me, but she too makes an extra effort to include me in their family outings. Stella and Oscar brought their children for a visit; Stella thinks I should join a sisterhood too but she at least only brought it up a single time and then let it drop when I snapped at her. Yasi invited me to come stay at their estate for a week, play with Barnaby and the twins and spend some time with her - perhaps I will, a change of scenery sounds nice. Margaret has written to me. It’s strange. She tells me how happy she is in the Order - but always ends with a comment about ‘it’s not for everyone,’ ‘our family will support whatever path you take,’ something like that. She’s trying, in her Margaret way, to tell me that I would be miserable. I suspect she is right. I haven’t written to Su or Seb. I can’t take the “I told you so.”
Love,
Isadora
Alturiak 2, 231
Dear Diary,
It is a new year, and Sebastian has arrived home. He showed up unexpectedly, a few days before the holiday. He pretended it was to see everyone, and he had brought toys for all the children and flowers for Mama and wedding gifts for Z & F - but he told me it was for me, that he and Su are very worried and he is going to set things right. The night of the holiday, he and Mama and Papa got into a screaming match in the foyer. Callum asked me to take the children outside to play, so I didn’t hear what was said, but when we all came back, Sebastian had a glow of satisfaction and told me to pack my bags, that I was finally, after so many years, going to stay with him in the city. This really gave me my first jolt of excitement I’ve felt in half a year. I have seen pictures and heard tales of the city, but I’ve never travelled further than a few hours to an identical estate in an identical town. There will be so much to see and do! Sebastian has been telling me all about it, about his favorite restaurants and the book shop down the street and the amazing inventions and the hundreds of new people you can see each day! I haven’t told him, but I’m secretly hoping I can find a husband amidst those hundreds of people. Someone to put Z & F’s matches to shame, to make Mama and Papa proud. Tonight, I will pray extra hard.
Love,
Isadora
Ches 13, 231
Dear Diary,
I have been in the city for over a month now, and it truly is wonderful! Sebastian was not underestimating - you see hundreds of new people, each day! Humans, gnomes, elves, dwarves, even stranger races I’d never heard of. I have not yet learned the layout of the city; it is all very, very confusing. Sebastian and Robert’s store is incredible - Sebastian truly is brilliant, and Robert is one of the most charming men I have ever met; it is no surprise is an expert salesman. I rather suspect Sebastian fancies him. Perhaps that is why he was so adamantly opposed to marriage. Susana is here too, although she has her own apartment now. She works at the University, assisting professors with their classes - and she is enrolled, as well! I was rather furious at her for not telling me, but she admitted that she was waiting until she completed her first year of classes because she was terrified she was going to fail out and be an embarrassment. She is so happy, Diary - she and Sebastian both. They are truly at home here. I love it and am so happy to be visiting, but secretly it scares me a bit - I am not at home in the same way they are. In the evenings, in fact, I feel a bit homesick - the lights are so bright; you don’t get a true twilight like at home. But it is not even home I miss, exactly - I have no desire to return to those empty halls with Mama and Papa in their separate rooms and Z & F gloating. I don’t know where to go to feel at home.
Love,
Isadora
Tarsakh 10, 231
Dear Diary,
A rather surprising turn of events. A letter arrived for me in the mail - a letter from a school I’ve never heard of, the University of Xyneros. An acceptance letter. Sebastian and Susana sat me down and told me that they had applied in my name, sponsored my application (since there is no way Mama and Papa could or would pay for it), and that they both want to see me truly study, learn, and grow somewhere far from the de Carlyle estate. There were brochures, maps, course descriptions - looking over these materials, my heart was beating almost as fast as in a particularly thrilling scene in one of my novels! I would start in the fall, studying in the school of Clerical Arts. Sebastian was glowing about the reputation of the school, going on and on about the quality of the professors, the caliber of the education. When he stood to go make tea, Susana leaned in and winked and whispered, “You never know what handsome, brilliant young nobles will be there too.” How could I say no? I mailed in my acceptance right away! Next week, I return home to pack my bags and prepare to depart in the fall. I must run, though, Sebastian is calling for me!
Love,
Isadora
PS: Sebastian has made me the most beautiful gift I have ever received. He remembered my affinity for fencing, and created a beautiful parasol - with a rapier hidden inside the handle! The rapier can be detached and the lace top part has been woven with steel strands to serve as a lightweight shield. It is functional, and fashionable - a gorgeous light blue that matches my eyes quite well. I am astounded and beyond grateful.
Eleasis 1, 231.
Dear Diary,
The day has arrived!!! I am settled in a hired carriage, travelling out of the country, to attend college, to study magic!!! Who could ever have predicted this would be how I am starting my 21st year? Mama and Papa said goodbye to me last night, but Callum and Gloria and the children all got up to see me off at dawn. Even Felicity and Zara came out and waved at the carriage, although we still aren’t speaking. My luggage is in several cases - all of the dresses and makeup I could pack, of course, and a healthy pile of romance novels. I brought several small trinkets from my siblings, along with several letters I’ve kept over the years, and one bottle of Corellon wine that I’m saving for a special occasion. And of course, my symbol of Corellon and rapier/parasol! Xyneros is even farther away than the city where Su and Seb are - I’ll be the furthest away from home that anyone in my family has gone! I’ve promised to write letters to everyone, which means I’ll need to set aside practically an hour for writing in the evenings, but they’re all so excited to hear how it all goes.
I’ve been thinking a great deal about finding a husband, which must be my primary goal at school. I will not settle for less than the best. To this end, I have been brainstorming a list of traits that my future spouse must possess. I will finally take the time to detail it below;
- Noble/well-bred
- Financially Secure
- Well Read
- An excellent dancer
- An excellent fencer
- An excellent conversationalist
- Adventurous eater
- Kind
- Humble
- Amusing
- Fashionable
- Hard-worker
- Cares about commoners
- Handsome
- Enjoys the theatre and opera
- Enjoys museums
- Enjoys parties
- Enjoys travelling
- Gets along well with my family
- If at all possible, we should be in love
As you can see, a steep task ahead of me, but I will get what I, and more importantly, my family, deserves. The sun is beginning to set, so I must set you aside to watch the night sky emerge over the changing landscape. Thank you for being my travelling companion, Diary.
Love,
Isadora
Eleasis 5, 231
Dear Diary,
I have arrived at Xyneros, and things are not as I expected. The first, and most obvious point of confusion - I seem to be one of only four students here. I was expecting hundreds, like Susana’s school - not myself and several commoners! Diary, I cannot pretend that I am not disappointed. Not a single eligible bachelor! No potential friends of a similar upbringing! Perhaps there are some former graduates for us to meet? I must pray they will fit the bill.
Second, the classes. In addition to the clerical classes I expected to be taking, the main focus of our education will be something called interplanar studies. I cannot even begin to guess at what this means. I will have to report back once I have truly begun taking the classes.
The other students are certainly a bit… unique. Two of them are sisters. I do not know either of their names. They both begin with a W, I think. The younger one is extremely young; she and her sister wear this as a point of pride, how smart she is for her age. The older one is some sort of singer? She keeps making references to her place of employment - The Bards and the Bees - and winking or laughing or making other suggestive comments, but I am unsure what she is implying. The fourth student is a male, but unfortunately is completely ineligible for a number of reasons. He is a wyvernborn, although he is missing his wings, and is some sort of warrior. Very strong, but not particularly smart - I suppose they must grant admission here based on a. number of different qualities.
Despite being a very strange bunch, we have been spending a lot of time together, if only because there is no one else here to spend time with. And we have shared some rather… strange experiences. This school is nothing like the one Susana goes to. I don’t believe she has ever walked through a fireplace and fought skeletons, for example.
It is a bit strange to be all on my own in a suite. I had my own room at home, of course, but there was always someone right down the hall. Here, it feels very empty. The sisters were supposed to have a cousin attending by the name of Hektor, but he never arrived. On occasion, I offer snacks to the wyvernborn to sleep in Hektor’s empty bed. He calls me Hektor as a result, but I don’t mind - it’s a far better nickname than Dora, that’s for sure.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 5(?), 231
Dear Diary,
Something beyond strange has happened. It feels as though it’s been months since I last wrote even though it was only weeks, and only several days since the… incident… occurred.
We are no longer in Isonhound. We are in an exceedingly strange land called Barovia. I have never heard of it, nor seen it on a map, and I’m not even entirely certain how we got here - falling through some sort of strange portal opened by our professors, on a mission to discover what happened to some former students. Our professors are no longer with us, however. We are alone here, in this land that is unlike any I have ever even heard of. We’re currently in the basement of a monstrous house, searching for the parents of two children we met outside, except the children are actually ghosts and their parents are long dead.
For all I know, we will all be dead too, very shortly. I have never been so grateful for my magic in my life, as it provides my only chance at escape, slim as it may be I leave this note in my diary at least in part, in case someone should find this if we fall down here, so that they know who we are.
I don’t know what else to say, and it would be wise to get some rest before we face any more creatures.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 6(?), 231
Dear Diary,
I’m as surprised to be writing this entry as you must be to be receiving it, but we survived the death house and made it out! Tonight, we are resting at a manor, but - I’ll go back and start from fighting animated suits of armor, ghosts, and shambling mounds of flesh, before making it out of the house and watching it get swallowed into the very ground it stood on.
After escaping the house, we followed the path to the nearest town, known as Barovia, but it is just a town with the same name as the land, the land itself is much bigger. We met a woman who sold us what she called “dream pies-“ I am excited to try mine as soon as I finish this entry. Oh, but that leads me to the most exciting part! I’m writing this from the home of Ismark Kolyanovich and his sister Irena. We met him in a bar - a rather nice place, I can’t wait to go back to another one - and he asked us to stay the night here and offered us gold to accompany him and his sister to a nearby city, where our professors may have ended up. Xuut and the sisters seem hesitant, and I understand not wanting to trust someone right off the bat, but it does seem rather efficient to me. I must admit, I am a bit swayed by the man himself. But you would be too if you had met him. He looks like he leapt straight from the pages of one of my novels - long dusty blond hair, piercing eyes, shoulders like a marble sculpture, the most fascinating scars on his face. His accent is delicious and he seems so kind and sad. I’m not a complete fool; I don’t entirely trust him yet - but who would have imagined I could have found a man like this here, in this terrible land?
- Noble; well-bred - YES!
- Financially Secure - MAYBE? HIS FATHER OWNS TOWN BUT HOME IS OLD
- Well Read - UNSURE
- An excellent dancer - UNSURE
- An excellent fencer - MOST LIKELY! CARRIES A BEAUTIFUL SWORD
- An excellent conversationalist - UNSURE, ALTHOUGH VERY CHARMING
- Adventurous eater - UNSURE
- Kind - YES!
- Humble - YES!
- Amusing - YES!
- Fashionable - UNCLEAR, CLOTHES ARE EXPENSIVE BUT OLD FASHIONED
- Hard-worker - UNSURE
- Cares about commoners - YES!
- Handsome _ YES! GODS ABOVE!
- Enjoys the theatre and opera - UNSURE
- Enjoys museums - UNSURE
- Enjoys parties - UNSURE
- Enjoys travelling - UNSURE
- Gets along well with my family - UNSURE
- If at all possible, we should be in love: - POSSIBLY? I FEEL PRACTICALLY
LIGHT-HEADED AROUND HIM;
HE BRIEFLY MENTIONED MY
BEAUTY (I SWOON TO REMEMBER IT)
Of course, he has bigger things to think about than romance and matches right now. I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned it until now: the Devil, the Vampire, Count Strahd. He rules these lands, and all the people live in terror, refusing to so much as utter his name. He has his eye set on Ismark’s sister Irena and has been attacking their home nightly to try to capture her. Their father died in one of these raids. This is why he wants us to escort them to the nearby city, where his sister may be safe. Tomorrow, we must help them bury their father, and then set out. The sisters and Xuut don’t wish to help; they want to avoid angering Strahd and focus on finding Darwin. I imagine they all think me extremely foolish for my insistence on helping this family. It is not simply because of Ismark, however. Seeing a young woman terrified and alone, pursued by a man she does not want - everything about it is offensive to me. We are attending school to become better people, are we not? It seems to me that that part of our schooling is being put to the test right now, and I do not intend to fail..
Despite my brave words, I am terrified. I am essentially alone, with people I’ve only known for a month - two sisters who will always put each other first and a soldier who I imagine would leave anyone (myself included) to rot if it meant finishing his quest to become a Watcher. There are vampires and monsters beyond my imagination waiting at every turn. I don’t know if I will make it home to see my family again. But dwelling on these thoughts will help no one, So I will write them down here, and then refuse to think about them again.
Love,
Isadora
PS: I had to remove my glove to cast dark magic on one of the monsters. I think Willa saw but I tried to play it off. I’m saying an extra prayer to never have to do that again.
PPS: I just ate my pie. I’m not feeling anything yet…
Eleint 7(?), 231
Dear Diary,
A fast entry, just before we leave for the day. I had the most incredible night. That pie… it made me feel things I had never imagined. I was lying in bed and my entire body began to feel light, tingly, almost as if I was floating, from my head to my toes - warmth in my center, I was so content and happy - joyful. And my dream, Diary, I’m blushing to even thinking of it - I was in bed beside Ismark, the man whose home we’re sharing. And it was the most amazing feeling, to be sitting there looking down at him, knowing he was mine. But then it got rather frightening - his breathing stopped, I reached out to touch him and my hand began to burn - but whether I was healing him or hurting him, I’m not certain, and then I woke up. Despite the fear from the end of the dream, I am already craving more. Perhaps I will be able to find Granny again today.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 8(?), 231
Dear Diary,
We have set off with Irena. I saw a corpse that turned into my own body, hanging from a noose and watching me. We battled a few wolves - some normal, some oversized monsters. Clearly this is the new normal here. I borrowed a breastplate and trousers from Irena, and even though I must look dreadful, I must admit, it makes fighting quite a bit easier.
We reached the Vistani camp, a lovely place - reminds me of our festivals growing up. We had our fortunes told by a very strange woman, Madam Eve. She spoke to us of an ally, a weapon, a treasure, a secret, and the location of the Count - as if we are supposed to fight him. I had said earlier to Xuut that I would like to do exactly that, but it was more a flight of fancy than reality. But Xuut is convinced Darwin and Kaston are dead - I am less convinced, but certainly it seemed from the way the Madam spoke that we may not be encountering them again any time soon. We held a funeral for them. I pray, pray, pray they are alright wherever they are.
She also gave individual readings for each of us. Willa seemed terrified and has hardly spoken since. Wynter was furious, kept protesting that she didn’t believe in any of it, but clearly something she said cut her to the core. Xuut seemed serious, empowered. And for my cards, she pulled The Hooded Man and The Healer. She told me I’m holding onto scars from my past that will prevent me from finding a future, and of course I know what she means. Ben. But how am I supposed to let that go? I hurt him, and he is the one suffering. There is nothing I can do for him other than hold that in my heart and keep a portion of the pain I inflicted on him. And of course, I live in terror of losing control and hurting someone again. And selfishly, I hate myself that this is part of my concern - the scars on my body will be with me forever. Someone may see them someday, and understand where they come from.. She told me many have scars here in Barovia. But most scars come from something outside oneself: these come only from my own darkness.
Still, the Healer, she said, is a card of hope. Of healing. My family is far away, but. I have a new family here, if I look for it. My dreams are real. And of course, right away I thought of my dream of Ismark and I cannot pretend I didn’t have a moment of absolute dizzying happiness. But - she is not the first person to refer to a future here. To being stuck here. And that is unacceptable. My family waits for me. I couldn’t bear it if the last thing I ever said to Z & F were cruel words over a year ago. I want to see my nieces and nephews grow up: I want to visit Sebastian and Susana and see how impressed they are with me now. I am simply aching. Not for my family as I left them, scattered and distant, but for the happiest days, when I was so young and Mama and Papa had already retreated to their own worlds but we all took care of each other anyways. It’s been so long since I felt that warmth.
As I lay here, Diary, trying to get ready to sleep, I feel as if I am tumbling out of control from one state of mind to another. I think of the Healer card, of how simply giddy I feel around Ismark, and feel a surge of excitement, and then I think of my family and our professors and I want to weep, and then I think of Strahd and truly, none of it matters, because I cannot imagine we will emerge alive from any sort of confrontation with him, but what else is there to do?
I’m going to try to quiet my mind and rest. I speak my prayers tonight for my family, for my professors, for Ismark and Irena, for myself and Xuut and Willa and Winter. And for Ben.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 9(?), 231
Dear Diary,
I’m scribbling by the embers of the fire and the smallest bit of moonlight shining through the clouds, afraid to sleep.
I don’t know what I’ve done.
The children are alive, at least, sleeping right here - they remind me so much of Barnaby and Bree it makes my chest ache. Freek and Myrtle. What in the Gods’ names am I supposed to do with two children in the middle of this terrible place?
What in the Gods’ names am I supposed to do at all?
The pie I ate - I can’t even write it down. I want to vomit. I might step away to do that, actually - I don’t know if I can sleep otherwise.
We tried to fight the creatures who were doing this - Wynter and I did. Willa and Xuut just walked away, as if they didn’t care what happened. They came back - and then, when I wouldn’t leave the children behind, they left again.
I am alone here.
I made a deal with the hag creatures: my breath, and my last breath. I have no idea what that means. They also have my rapier, my holy symbol, all of my belongings - except for the sheep, but Xuut has that, and none of us are really talking to each other at the moment. Tomorrow, we reach Velaki. .We drop off Irena. And then, do we stay together? We have no obligation to each other anymore. Madam Eve seemed to think we should be fighting the Count. I am not afraid to die, but I am afraid - terrified - of living a life that is of no use to anyone. So I will be listening to the Madam., and following this suicide mission, even if I have to do so on my own.
My heart is heavy. I want to weep, but I will not let it show. I will sleep, and then I will wake, and walk, and fight, and if I am lucky, sleep again. I wish I had something deeper to say. I am so sad, and so afraid.
Love,
Isadora
X U U T
Eleint 10(?), 231
Dear Diary,
I write to you, still terrified, but with at least a bit more hope in my heart. Even though I am writing from - and I cannot believe the very words in front of me - a jail.. That is why Xuut’s name appears on this page - I have been trying to teach him writing and reading, and we have very little else to do with our time. Except fight, I suppose, but I think we’re done with that, thank the Gods. Xuut, towering over me, voice shaking the cobblestones I stood on., eyes literally flaming, is one of the scariest sights I have ever encountered. He is angry at me and, I think, afraid for me. We’ve sorted it out for the moment, at least.. I promised to try to run into danger less often - at least, if it would put him and the sisters in danger. And he promised… well, nothing really, but he stopped yelling at me, at least. I’m going to try to sleep. There are dead people in many of the cells of this “reformation center,” and if we aren’t able to act, we’ll be next. I must rest and try to heal - although my body seems to be rejecting it. Most likely, a side effect of my bargain with the hags. At this point, a problem for another day. I will try to sleep. I feel better with Xuut standing guard.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 11(?), 231
Dear Diary,
Don’t have time for a long entry because I’m finally about to get a full night’s sleep in a bed for the first time in days. But you may note the bed - Xuut and I had a jailbreak, it was very exciting and also very frightening. We’re at an inn in town with Willa, Wynter, and Irena. Well, Wynter and Irena - Willa is off with some elven lady doing, I’m certain, all sorts of improper things. It pains me to admit it, but I’m a bit jealous. I would very much like to experience a bit of passion before a vampire rips me into shreds or the hags claim my life. Still. Even under such circumstances, our dignity is all we have left. I must rest. I am going to write letters to my siblings and nieces and nephews, to let them know that if I don’t return home, something has happened to me. Their lives will go on, but still. I want them to know.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 12(?)
Dear Diary,
It would be nice to sleep in the same place for two nights in a row. Tonight, I write to you from the home of Lady Vachter, the woman who helped Xuut and I break out of jail - and now wants our help to usurp the Burgermeister. I don’t know what to think. It doesn’t help, I’m sure, that we haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in weeks, we’ve been on the run, in fights, no one will give us straight answers about anything. The Burgermeister is a terrible, frightening man, but Lady Vachter frightens me a bit as well. Still, Xuut and Willa think it’s a good idea, and she seems earnest about helping us, and right now, we can take all the help we can get. Tomorrow, we’re going to do what we can to help her. I cannot pretend I am hopeful about how this will go. I will be a bit surprised if I am writing to you this time tomorrow night. I’m giving the letters to Xuut to send for me - of all of us, he seems the most likely to make it out alive.
Love,
Isadora
PS. The moments I look forward to are in my dreams, where I have visions that make me blush to think of them. Each evening, I am so filled with excitement and dread that it becomes hard to fall into the sleep that I wish for so deeply. I have never had dreams like this before. I don’t wish to think of why I’m having them now.
PPS. Irena has taken Freek and Myrtle back to the orphanage. I wish I could help them more, but I don’t know what else to do.
Eleint 13(?)
Dear Diary,
I take back my wish to spend two nights in a row in the same place.
We have done something terrible.
Again.
It seems that no matter how hard I try, I bring pain where I go. But this time, the other three are responsible as well, and it’s clear they are all feeling it very deeply. If I have learned one thing, it’s that the only way forward is forward, as trite as it sounds. I will do what I can to be brave, positive, and proper, to bolster their spirits and inspire them to do the same.
It will not be easy.
Part of me wishes that horrible man had succeeded in ending all of this, at least for me.
I cannot find the words to pray tonight.
Goodnight.
Isadora
PS: The voice spoke to me again last night. The voice claiming to be the Morninglord, offering help. But last night, he did not offer help. He offered nothing but a confirmation that I did the wrong thing - again.
Eleint 14(?)
Dear Diary,
Thank Corellon, the Morninglord, and any other God who may be up there that we have made it out of Vellaki, the single worst place on the face of Quelmar. We didn’t manage to get to the children in the orphanage, or retrieve the bones for the church, or really do anything other than help the Vachters make things even worse - but we did make it out with Irina, and that’s what I’m trying to focus on for the moment. Not the terror we left behind, and not the Devil we met on our way out.
Because we did meet him. Strahd, I mean. He swooped out of the sky on a horse made of fire, landed on the roof of the church, walked right up to us, and asked Irina to come with him. (Side note: he calls her Tatyana, and also she may be the lost sister of the man we killed? Questions for another night.) It may have been my stupidest decision to date, but I tried to speak to him, to defend Irina. He stared at me like I was a bug under his shoe, and I don’t imagine he’s going to forget that any time soon.
I’m exhausted: my body, my spirit, my mind, my heart. I’m trying to remain positive, still, for the others. Willa in particular seems particularly disturbed by these events, and it hurts worse to watch her pain than feel my own. Tomorrow, we find Old Jeny, then the Vistani, and from there - who knows. It seems that the only way to keep Irina safe is to keep moving, until we can follow Madam Eva’s advice.
I want to pray, but I don’t know if I can. I’m afraid of how badly I just wish to sleep, and escape back into my dreams. I spent most of my waking hours wishing to be there. Really, wishing to be anywhere but here.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 15(?)
Dear Diary,
Tonight has been such a relief. I was able to be quiet, and alone, and sad for a while. It feels that the greatest thing I can do right now is try to keep the spirits of my companions up, but it means that I spend very little time resting or contemplating my own emotions. Tonight, at the Vistani encampment, Willa took on that job, inspiring everyone to join in a night of revelry and celebration with our hosts. It was wonderful to watch them all: Xuut, telling his battle stories, Wynter, wide-eyed over the fletcher’s work, and most of all Willa, choked up and heartbroken and happy and beaming, to be meeting her family.
I miss my family terribly. And I miss the kind of party that we shared last night, but for once, I stayed back, and watched my friends celebrate, and allowed myself to feel sad, and it was the best way I could have spent the evening.
Oh! I cannot believe how unbelievable things are here, that I forgot to write about the most important thing: we all received letters from Strahd, inviting us to dinner in four days time. My letter made my skin crawl.: he knows details about how I worship Corellon, and somehow made my favorite compliment, “beautiful,” the most disgusting thing I’ve ever been called. My blood runs cold whenever I consider having to sit across from that monster at a dinner table, but if we must do it to keep his favor, we will. The most important thing is to keep Irina safe, and ourselves alive, until we can complete Eva’s tasks.
Tomorrow, we journey on - hopefully survive another day, I don’t know what else to wish for, other than the safety of my companions. Tonight, I will be grateful for them, and everything else is secondary.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 16(?)
Dear Diary,
We survived another day. Fought some more zombies and wolves. It felt good, honestly. - to swing my blade and use my magic and feel in control, for the first time in days.. Tomorrow, we’ll be at the Winery. Another step closer to the Count.
But for now - a full night of sleep, hopefully.
Love,
Isadora
PS. Something happened to me in the night. I had the dream of the voice, but it told me more - and it offered me power in exchange for continuing on my quest against Strahd. It can’t be that simple, but I’m desperate. We all are. I agreed- Gods know what I sold away this time - and I felt a crushing weight. For a moment, I was convinced I was going to die - and then it passed, and when I awoke - I felt amazing. The air smells better, I feel stronger. I don’t know what happened to me, but for now, I will be grateful. The devil will take his due down the line.
Eleint 17(?)
I don’t know where to begin.
I died. Willa did too. We’re both alive now, I suppose - walking and breathing and such.
We had arrived at the winery, agreed to help the family there, fought some plant zombies, I thought we were about to win - and then everything fell apart, Willa went down, Wynter was blind to the battle and trying to heal her sister, Xuut was separated by a sea of enemies - I tried to stand over them to take the blows, and I succeeded with flying colors, by which I mean I was torn apart by these creatures. I remember the feeling - the tearing, blood gushing, a swell of nausea, pain everywhere, everywhere was being ripped open - and then nothing.
And then I was hanging upside down in chains, acid bubbling below me, hearing my friends calling for me, calling for help, out of reach. It was awful. I could have sworn my flesh was burning off. I don’t know if this was the hell plane, or some sort of special Barovian hell, but Diary - I have never been afraid of death before. I’m a cleric, for Gods’ sake. I have always been comforted by the knowledge that someday, Corellon would welcome me to a new home. But I have lost my last bit of faith that the Gods are powerful and good will prevail, and I have lost any comfort I had with the thought of death.
And then someone sent me back. A strange new voice. Asked me to make a bargain - yet again - everything in this world costs. Including life. When I came back, I couldn’t see quite right. Everything was dim, fuzzy, colorless. Looking at the world through a thick gray lens. And the scarring around my eyes - my face finally matches the rest of my body, I suppose. It’s almost as disorienting as my sight being gone, knowing that my beauty, what I’ve relied on for so much of my life, is truly gone.
I’m trying not to think too much about my sight. It’s hard to read, now - impossible to see anything at a distance - impossible to see color. I’m worried it will affect my fighting. And I can barely stand the fact that I’ll never see the sky again. It’s simply a dark heavy emptiness above me, even in the daylight.
My possessions, , my sight, my beauty, my faith in my God, even my own health- I am losing, again and again, pieces of me that I don’t know how to get back, and I don’t know what I’ll become without them.
My companions - I have no one else in the world but them, and yet I barely know them. I had started to think of Xuut as - something I read about in stories, but never experienced growing up - a best friend. But as we discussed our future plans, he mentioned so off-handedly, like nothing at all, that if one of us should die, it should be me. I don’t believe he was including himself in that, but none-the-less, it stung immensely. The sisters have each others’ backs above all, and I thought that perhaps we could too.
Looking down below the wounded feelings, however, I know that he’s right. He’s a warrior and a protector.. Wynne is the smartest person I have ever met. Willa brings joy wherever she goes. The three of them are to make an impact on the world sometime. My entire life had been in preparation to be traded away for a suitable price. And I couldn’t even do that. If I were to disappear, a few people might be sad, but not a single person would be worse off without me.
And yet, I so desperately don’t want to die. The thought of being back in that horrible place - without end - is enough to make me feel ill.
I’m so very tired. At least while I sleep, I won’t have to think.
Goodnight,
Isadora
Eleint 18(?)
Dear Diary,
I have a moment to scribble this, as I get changed for dinner with Count Strahd. You read that right - we are truly in his castle. Which means there is a very good possibility this may be my last entry. Diary, I’ve enjoyed our time together.
On our way here - I could write pages about the horrors we saw. Suffice it to say - everytime I think this place can’t get worse, it proves me wrong. And we were partly to blame.
We helped some - I hope. The image of that cart, piled with at least a dozen bloody children - the feeling of their skin tearing under my fingers as I ripped them off their posts - the smell that still hasn’t left my nose - this place truly is Hell.
I must go. I have a dress, makeup, a mask to cover my eyes, my hair will be brushed. In a way, it will feel like home. This politicking, these social games - this is what I’ve been trained to do since I first walked. I pray I can keep my companions under control.
Wish us luck,
Isadora
Eleint 19(?)
Dear Diary,
Still in Strahd’s castle. We’re all in shock. No one knows what to do or where to go. We’re in a sitting room, waiting, for something. Not entirely sure what for, at this point.. We tried to escape - or rather, Wynne and Xuut made a break for it, against my vote. Willa was too drunk to argue. Shockingly, it didn’t go well. Xuut and Wynter died, I think. But they’re back, just like me and Willa. No visible changes to either of them. I don’t want to know what’s changed on the inside.
Before the escape, and the death, there was the Dinner and the Devil My own personal Hell, as it turns out, although I really shouldn’t use that term lightly anymore. The others absolutely refused to behave themselves, even on threat of tortue, death, and whatever else Strahd could think of. He instructed me to keep them under control - as if we were on the same team, he and I.. After dinner, we retired to a ballroom - and we danced. Willa and one of the brides, me and the Count. And this is the worst part - he did something to me. Something to make me trust him.. I still recall the feeling - absolute safety, absolute certainty, for the first time in years. It was wonderful. A feeling similar - though I shudder to remember it - to the pies. And I told him - anything he asked. Where Irena is. What our plans are. I hardly remember, the whole exchange is almost fuzzy, dream-like. But I know it happened. And if he gets Irena because of me - I don’t know what I’ll do.
We all need to sleep. If we awake in the morning, we’ll decide what to do with clearer minds.
Isadora
Eleint 20(?)
Dear Diary,
We’re out. We’re out! WE’RE OUT! I imagine you didn’t expect you’d ever hear from me again, but you won’t get rid of me that easily. I feel jittery, elated, unreasonably joyful. I don’t imagine this relief will last long - but I’ll enjoy it while it does.
We have a new companion as well .Hektor, the cousin of the sisters - the source of Xuut’s nickname for me and my bed at school. We found him imprisoned in the basement. He doesn’t say much, but he looks like a capable fighter, and the love between the three of them is strong. I certainly won’t begrudge another ally at our side - especially one who may have more knowledge of the land and the Count.
Things are not good, to be clear. For whatever reason, the Count chose to let us go. Now that we’ve seen his guards, his castle, we have even more reason to be terrified of trying to breach them. He knows far more of our secrets than is safe. But - we are alive. And on our way back to the village of Barovia, hopefully to find Ismark - and the cart of those children, safe and sound. We may be in the Devil’s land, but we can still dream.
I may be starting to crash from that escape. We’re deep in the forest now, campsite built, and I can’t believe I’m writing this but the distant howling of wolves and the smell of the damp leaves and the blurry movement of shadows is the greatest relief. Tomorrow, onto the village. Tonight - maybe I’ll get a full night’s good sleep.
Isadora
Eleint 21(?)
Dear Diary,
I’m sure this is shocking news, but things have gotten worse since last night. We made it to the village and found it nearly deserted - except for Granny, the hag who took part of my soul, still peddling her pies. She didn’t stand a chance against Hektor and Willa, however - it felt like barely a blink before the two of them had reacted and she was essentially melting into the street, right beside her cart of hundreds of the pies. It took all I had not to vomit.
Next was to the Kolyanovich Manor - where Ismark decidedly was not. No sign of the cart, either. We did find one of his co-conspirators, a Vistani girl by the name of Ezmerelda., who had also arrived to search for him. She knew who I was - he had spoken of me, evidently. He got all of my letters. Part of me is relieved. Part of me is embarrassed. Most of me is worried that we will be too late and this awful place will destroy yet another kind, brave, good soul. I cannot allow it to happen.
Ezmerelda led us to the Church where we had buried Ismark the Greater, and it was filled with the bodies of the townspeople. Dozens of them. Torn apart. Willa spoke with the body of the Father, who confirmed it was the work of his vampire son. The one we let live the first time we were here. Another pile of bodies, partly due to us. Another hundred souls on our conscience. The only consolation - Ismark was not among them.
Willa also reached out to find Ismark, and thinks she knows where he is. A place called Yesterhill - and he’s in great danger, days away. Thank the Gods, Ezmerelda is going to take us in her cart. We might make it in time. That’s where I’m writing right now. Tucked into the very back of the wagon as it rocks down the road. I’m going to do what I can to sleep. It’s a good thing I slept well last night - every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the pile of bodies.
Isadora
Eleint 22(?)
Dear Diary,
Short entry before bed. In good news, I can see stars. They aren’t real stars, exactly - a new spell I learned, to create a safe space. But it looks like stars, even to my eyes.
In less good news, it feels like we’ve hardly traveled any ground. We have days to go. Days in which anything could happen.
Also in less good news, although far pettier news, my fears were confirmed: Ezmerelda and Ismark were something, once upon a time. She is gorgeous and smart and terrifying in battle and exactly the kind of person I imagine he wants.
It is what it is, I suppose. I lost before and I will lose again. First we find him and save him. The rest doesn’t matter, in the end.
Love,
Isadora Eleint 23(?)
Dear Diary,
Another night on the road. Another battle. Another death. Things I can’t believe feel commonplace.
Death felt different this time - thank the Gods. No torture, no frightening voices, no visions. I was in a dark space, with Xuut and Wynter, and we heard the voice of The Seeker, one of the three Thanes that we’re trying to get back. She thanked us, but warned us there would still be a price. Not sure what it is yet - woke back up without any obvious scars, any obvious changes. Some other piece gone, though - some other piece I won’t get back.
Oh, we died fighting Willa, I suppose I should say that. Not our Willa, exactly, but an evil mirror version, incredibly powerful. We survived in the end thanks to Esmerelda - a valuable traveling companion, despite any jealousy or misgivings.
The newest thing weighing on my conscience is the outcome of 15 souls from the vials that Hektor smashed when I died. I expected to be angry, but it was hard to hold it against him when he was crying in apology. And honestly - I’m upset because it’s my soul he traded for those fifteen, but isn’t there a chance I would have done the same if it had been one of the others?
15 souls. If I can save 15 lives, perhaps I’ll feel like I’ve made a start in paying for my own life.
I’ve had my struggles with my faith over the last few weeks - feeling out of touch, unworthy, alone, frightened. But nonetheless, when I woke up today, I couldn’t stop remembering the prayer I used to love best as a child in the Temple. I haven’t thought of it in years - but now, the words are ringing in my mind.
:
Hei-Corellon shar-shelevu:
As I await the morning dew
I pray to You for who I’d be
And trust in You to shepherd me
I’d shelter all from raging storm
In winter, I’d be a fire warm
May my love be fierce and my beauty bright
May you always guide my path with light..
Perhaps I’ll start saying that one each night again. Something to tether me, remind me of what I’m trying to do.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 24(?)
Dear Diary,
Back in the Hellscape that is the city of Vellaki. We’re still not moving nearly as fast as I would like, but at least we’re gathering good information on the way. We’re back at Blue Water Tavern, which is as close as you get to nice here. Most of the city is deserted - something bad went down here. Something even after the bad thing that went down because of us.
Oh, there might be a tiger running around. That’s definitely bad news. I haven’t seen one, but Esmerelda seems very concerned about it. It belonged to her kind-of-evil mentor, I think. It’s getting hard to keep track of all of the different monsters and evil people out there.
The world really isn’t what I thought it would be. But tonight, at least, a safe night’s sleep.
Love,
Isadora
Eleint 25(?)
Dear Diary,
I was hoping we would already be back on the road, but another night in the tavern. At least we have silvered weapons thanks to Wynne, meaning we’ll be a great deal more prepared when we do make it to Yesterhill.. We have a new friend, too - Blunda, a Goliath. I’ve never even heard of Goliaths, but apparently there are many where Xuut is from. They’ll be traveling with us on their journey to Argenfost. Xuut, to no surprise, got along very well with them.
I’m looking forward to a new companion. As anxious as I am to be moving, it was nice to be with people. Irwin, Danika, Esmerelda, Blunda - and even my regular companions. I got to spend some time with Willa this evening, after she cooked us dinner. She used her magic to show me the street she grew up on, her neighbors, her father… she and Wynter have this amazing certainty that he loves them and is proud of them and that they have a home to return to. I have plenty of wonderful childhood memories, of course, and I miss my siblings every day here. Still. It would be nice to have that feeling of home again someday. I think back to Madame Eva, and her fortune. That feels like an impossible goal right now, but I suppose something to hope for can only help keep me moving forward.
To bed. Tomorrow, onward.
Love,
Isadora
PS. I almost didn’t write about it because my hand starts to shake when I think of it. Willa can’t use the spell anymore that she used to speak with Ismark before - but I can. Tomorrow morning, I will try to reach out. See if he can tell us where he is, or what to watch out for. See if he’s still alive. I know I’ve only spent a few days around him, and in a sense it feels absurd that I’m this invested in his life. But aside from my own personal feelings - he is kind, and good, and that is hard to come by here. And I cannot stand to know he suffers because of me. Usually, I pray for my family, my friends, everyone I’ve met here. Tonight, I will pray for his safety.
We fought
Strahd found us and
On the road
We have Ismark. His body. Strahd killed him. Had his monster kill him. Ripped his throat out.We all stood by. Irena was watching. We all were. I think I might be sick.
He’s here, in the cart, with us. If we can find a diamond - I might be able to fix him. And that will make every mistake I’ve made, every bit of pain I’ve caused with my magic, worth it. But if we can’t, if I can’t -
I can hardly write. My hand is shaking. I’m trying to talk to Irena. She deserves to be the one breaking down right now. It’s not fair of me. I’m going to keep it together for her.
I’m back. She’s praying right now. I don’t think she wants to talk.
I want Sebastian and Su. I want Margaret to tell me a story. I want Cal to fall asleep in my lap. I want to look at the stars with Max. Gods, I even want to sit with Mama and Papa in front of the fire. I want to go home..
I think Irena is asleep, thank the gods. Ismark’s head keeps hitting the floor as the carriage bumps. I tried to put a cloak under it to keep it still but - the wrong jolt and his body tips and hits the wood and I can’t breathe. My chest hurts, my stomach hurts, the world keeps spinning around me. If we get into a fight, I’m going to be useless.
There’s hope. That’s what I’m telling myself, over and over and over. I have the spell, I know the words. We just need one stupid rock, and then maybe it will all be okay.
I need to sleep, to be ready for this. I don’t know if I can. But I’m going to try.
Of all the things I’ve seen and done and felt in my life, this is the worst.
At the moment, my life feels bookended by screaming. Someone howling so hard it sounds like they must be ripping their throats apart from the inside - because of me, because of what I’ve done to them. And unlike last time - I couldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop. Maybe I should have. Everyone wanted me too. I was hurting him
I was selfish. That’s the truth. I could say I was trying to do the right thing - but what’s the point of lying here? I just want something to hope for. I want to hope for him. I’ve lost so much else. Is it so awful to want just one thing?
Yes. It is. I know it is.
He is alive. I suppose I did what I meant to. It doesn’t feel like a victory.
I’m hoping that the voice will help him. The demon. I know it’s wrong to ask it for anything else; the bargain I’ve already made was a mistake. But if it offers - I don’t think I’ll be able to say no.
I don’t know when it is anymore, if it’s the same month or not, how many days and weeks have passed.
I’m trying to find something to learn. Some moral to take from all of this. That’s what we learned at Temple - always look for the message, look for a way to grow and be better. Truly, the only lesson I can think of is that your family always leaves you. Parents, too drunk and distracted to remember which one you are. Siblings getting married and forgetting to write, or running away without saying goodbye. Teachers who lead you into danger then have the audacity to die. Friends who you think you can trust - turning their backs on you for someone they don’t even know.
I feel like I’m eight years old again, reading the letter Sebastian wrote before disappearing into the night. Thirteen, the same thing all over again with Susana. Nine, sitting on the floor in a puddle of wine, spilled from my mother’s bottle as she sleeps on the sofa. My sides hurt. They burn., they sear, I can feel my own hands dragging death along my ribs - melting and twisting the face of a friend - friends do always hurt you, don’t they, whether or not they mean to?
I’m not well, I don’t think. Everything is too bright. My head aches. I can’t focus. I died again - third time’s the charm, right? I can see now, but it’s so cold, I can’t stop shivering, there are scales crawling up my body like I’m some sort of monster. And of course I’m a monster - I’m a dead thing, a walking corpse, here on borrowed time and stolen breath. And this is the last time; I know that now. The price is too high. I can’t stop hearing Ismark’s screaming. His blood is still dried under my nails.
Willa’s dead, I think. I want to cry, but I won’t in front of the others. I can’t let Hektor or Xuut see any weakness anymore. And Wynter deserves to be the one being taken care of. Six of us came through that portal together. Three are dead now. I’ve been to hell, and this place is just as bad.
We might go back to the tower tomorrow. I want to throw up. How am I supposed to look him in the eye? Knowing that it’s my fault, what happened to him? And that even in trying to fix it, I caused so much pain? What are my hands good for?
We’re supposed to kill the most powerful creature in the land, and we can’t even get through one old spirit. If we sell our souls, maybe the demons will help us, probably so they can claim the land when he’s dead. If we don’t sell our souls - we fail, we die, we leave this place even worse than we found it.
When I first arrived here, in moments of terror, I tried to think about my family’s estate. The gleaming floors of the ballroom. The roaring fireplace and soft rugs. My bedroom, full of my books and toys and dresses. The garden, the forest, the creek, the trees. I thought about the walk I used to take almost every morning - from the finely kept carriage path in front of our home, to the hard-packed dirt road into the village, to the large flat stones leading haphazardly to the temple, to the soft grass winding its way amongst the vineyard. I thought about Sebastian’s crowded shop and Susana’s airy apartment in the city. I dreamed of a grand return home.
Now, those visions are distant and flat and cold, as if I read about them in a book instead of actually experiencing them. Everything about home feels unreachably far away. Everything about the person I was, too. My body is different, my powers are different, my mind is different. Not different - it all feels less. Not my power, I suppose, that feels like weeds choking a garden, grown absolutely out of control, but the rest of me. Pieces shattered, pieces lost, and the pieces I keep putting in their place are hard, sharp, unfamiliar things. Rage and terror and hopelessness and guilt. I have always known loneliness, but it has swelled like a tumor in my body..
I’m writing like a bad poet. Perhaps, in a few days, I’ll reread this and laugh at my melodrama. I’ll have warmed up and adjusted to the scales and we’ll all be friends again, with a plan to work towards. Things are bad here - but things are bad all over the world, and people go on living and being happy. Why not us?
Because the Devil watches and the demons call and the wolves howl and the people around us die.
When I first arrived, I still thought that maybe, I would go home and marry some noble boy my parents find and write this all out in a novel, to be published under a penname of course. But I can finally admit that that sounds like its own sort of misery. For a while, I was confident and foolish enough to daydream of a future built here, someday. But the more time I spend here, the more impossible that feels. I don’t know what my happily ever after is, anymore. Perhaps that’s for the best. Perhaps, it all will hurt less, not knowing what I have to lose.
The words are swimming in front of my eyes and everything hurts. I’m going to try to sleep back here. If Wynter needs me, she’ll wake me. I won’t speak to Xuut to get my bedroll, and I imagine my back will hate me tomorrow, but a night rolling around on the wooden floor of the cart - the exact same floor Ismark’s body was on a few days ago, gods - is preferable to having to look him in the eye right now.
I don’t know why I’m so gods-damned cold.
Dear Diary,
I apologize for my tone in my last few entries. I was going through a bit of a bad spell, as Mama used to call it. I’m feeling much better now.
Willa is probably dead, so that is still awful, heart-wrenching, gut-turning. I will pray for her every night. I must take comfort in the possibility that she is somewhere far better than here, and she is at peace. We will finish the job we started together, and hopefully that will make her proud.
We are with Irina and Ismark again. I missed Irina even more than I had realized, I think. Her passion and faith are inspiring to all of us, especially now when we need it the most. She is brilliant, and strong, and reminds me why we are on this quest - and that not everything we have done has been bad. Some of what we have done has been very, very good. We needed that reminder. We needed her.
And then, there is Ismark. He is still badly damaged from the attack - he can’t speak, really, and his neck is completely wrapped up. I can only imagine what it looks like beneath the bandages. But despite this, he is still the brave, kind person I believed him to be.
Also, he called me “the most beautiful woman he has ever seen,” so. There’s that.
We walked outside for a bit. I told him that what happened to him was my fault, that I was sorry, that I would make it right - he seemed unphased. He held my hand. Diary. Not to revert back to thirteen, but HE HELD MY HAND. That must mean he’s interested, right? He held my hand and called me beautiful. To be fair, suitors did that back in Whimbrel and didn’t mean it - but he’s more honest, noble, and good-hearted than all of them combined. Still - he hasn’t kissed me or made any real declaration of intention., so I will try not to get ahead of myself. Last time I did that - well, it sent me on a journey that has ended here. Hell - although I can no longer imagine what my life would look like if I hadn’t ended up on this path. A blessing and a curse.
Athena isn’t as bad once you get to know her. She let me do her makeup. She’s extremely nervous over this Ezmeralda situation - I would be too! But she seems to have good intentions - or at least, only-murdering-people-we-also-want-dead intentions, which is mostly as close as you can get to good here in Barovia.
We’re heading to the mountains in the North to try to find an ally, who’s only been described to us as “the Mad Mage.” It feels nice to have a plan again. A real plan, based on evidence and not just desperate scrambling. Of course, most of our plans last about an hour, but it will be a nice hour, at least.
I think that’s all for now, Diary. I’m sorry again for my last few entries. It’s not very becoming of a young lady to succumb to despair. I’ll do better.
Love,
Isadora
Dear Diary,
I’m in a mansion in a pocket dimension. Not the strangest place I’ve been in the last few months, but it’s up there.. I’m tired. One battle after another. Nothing ever goes quite the way we plan. This mage was supposed to be an ally - and instead, we find a paranoid, broken madman. It is alright, Diary! I am not yet close into sinking into another pool of despair. I am just waiting, while my smarter companions investigate. I feel a bit useless. I just wanted to write it all out, I suppose.
Love,
Isadora
Diary!
Diary, you would not believe it! We have Professor Darwin back! This madman, this mage - he was actually our professor, trapped in his own by who else but Strahd.
TRAVELLING IN THE CART BACK WITH DARWIN
Dear Diary,
I only have a few moments. We’re leaving again - out to the swamp, to deal with the final Fane. Each task more dangerous than the last.
I should be frightened, I know, but all I can really feel is happy. Diary. I had to write it down before I forgot a thing.
I probably wouldn’t have said a word if I had known he was coming with us, but I thought he wasn’t, and so I panicked - very out of character for me, I know. I went to Ismark in the bar, I was trying to explain to him how I felt, and I sounded like a complete idiot, but I guess that was alright because he kissed me! And it was stupidly wonderful and lovely and all the things it says it should be in the books. And then I mentioned the swamp again, and he told me - he said - “”if anything happens to you, I will follow, wherever you are.” And I know that he can’t actually do anything to protect me out here, but still, it made me feel safe, for a few moments, for the first time in a long time. And then we just got to sit together, spend a few peaceful moments alone, while the others rested. I am more grateful for these past several hours than I can put into words.
I have to go. I just wanted to remember every moment! Ahhh! Thank you.
Love,
Isadora
Weapon[edit | edit source]
A rapier/shield combo, crafted by her older brother Sebastian to resemble a parasol when closed. The handle detaches to turn into a rapier, and the lace of the parasol is interwoven with fine steel stands that can help deflect blows. The thin blade makes excellent use of her fencing training. It provides both protection and of course, fashion. Her classmate Wynter recently made some improvements to it, including a color changing feature.
Family[edit | edit source]
Parents[edit | edit source]
- Lord Remington Spencer Valentine DeCarlyle & Lady Francine Verity Grace DeCarlyle nee Sutcliffe
Siblings[edit | edit source]
- Callum: 33 years old, married to Gloria DeCarlyle nee Younger, five children
- Stella: 32 years old, married to Oscar Sambridge, four children
- Maxwell: 31 years old, unmarried, no children, a Priest in the Pelorian order
- Yasmina: 31 years old, married to Anthony Sherington, four children
- Sebastian: 30 years old, unmarried, no children, merchant & artificer
- Imogen: 29 years old, married to Bishop Omund, two children
- Margaret: 28 years old, unmarried, no children, a Sister in the Pelorian order
- Katherine: 27 years old, married to Gideon Blakesely, no children
- Rose: 25 years old, married to David Bentley, one child
- Susana: 24 years old, unmarried, no children, student at Museum of Levinkan
- Zara: 22 years old, engaged to Darby Winchester, no children
- Felicity: 22 years old, engaged to Julius Gedge, no children
- Isadora: 21 years old, unmarried, no children
Nieces and Nephews[edit | edit source]
- Callum & Gloria:
- Callum Jr: 13 years old
- Giles: 10 years old
- Fergus: 9 years old
- Angus: 7 years old
- Portia: 5 years old
- Stella & Oscar:
- Audrey: 11 years old
- Lawrence: 10 years old
- Francine: 8 years old
- Henry: 6 years old
- Yasmina & Anthony:
- Barnaby: 7 years old
- Bianca: 5 years old
- Blanche: 5 years old
- Bree: 3 years old
- Imogen & Bishop:
- Claudia: 6 years old
- Clayton: 6 years old
- Rose & David:
- Miles: 2 years old
Gifts[edit | edit source]
Everywhere she goes, Isadora brings with her a collection of 12 small trinkets: each one a gift from one of her siblings. They are as listed below:
- Callum: a broken rattle; there are no longer any beads in it but it’s still a beautiful wooden toy. It had been Callum’s when he was a baby, and when Isadora was born when he was a teenager, he absolutely doted on her. Her earliest memories are of Callum and Stella playing with her.
- Stella: a hedgehog-shaped pincushion. Nine year old Stella thought it was a stuffed animal, and bought it with her own pocket money for her baby sister. It was her favorite toy for years.
- Maxwell: a tiny notebook filled with sketches. Quiet, shy, and awkward, Maxwell spent a lot of time hiding out on his own. He loved his siblings deeply but mostly preferred his own company. Still, he found his own way to show his affection - when he was fifteen, he filled a small notebook with sketches of constellations for his littlest sister, who already shared his love for the night sky.
- Yasmina: a prank quill pen. Yaz was the biggest troublemaker of the children. She loved playing jokes, and was always dragging her siblings into the trouble. Isadora keeps a fake quill pen that looks like it’s full of ink but doesn’t actually write that Yasmina once sent her to tutoring with.
- Sebastian: mechanical dog. For most of her childhood, Sebastian was the sibling she was closest with. She keeps a tiny mechanical dog that he built for her from a few spare parts and gears. After all these years, it still can wag its tail. The dog is currently with Wynter.
- Imogen: a silver spoon. Im was a suck-up and her mother’s favorite; she had always known exactly what she wanted and how to get it. This led to fights with many of the other siblings, but rarely with Isadora, who admired her. Despite her goody-two-shoes exterior, Imogen had her own rule-breaking habits, and Isadora keeps a silver spoon Imogen once stole for her, just for the hell of it.
- Margaret: stuffed sheep. Incredibly kind, sweet, and generous, if a bit stupid, both academically and when it came to the political game. She was often the peacemaker between the other siblings, and Isadora keeps a small stuffed sheep named Clouds that Margaret gave her when she had nightmares. Clouds is currently lost.
- Katherine: letter cut-outs. The most bookish, academic of the siblings, even more so than Susana. She keeps several small wooden letter cut-outs that Katherine used to teach her to read.
- Rose: gold coin with a tiny painting. Rose was, above all things, an artist. She loved music, dance, painting, instruments - she was always picking up new hobbies. For a time, she enjoyed tiny paintings. Isadora keeps a gold piece with a tiny painting of a cabin in a forest that Rose made.
- Susana: thread-woven bracelet. Isadora is especially close with her ambitious, independent older sister, and always keeps a small string bracelet that Susanna made with thread from each of their favorite dresses.
- Zara: costume ring. Despite arguing constantly and fiercely as children, Isadora loved the twin sisters who were closest to her in age. After they sabotaged her chances at a proposal, however, she refused to speak to them. Nonetheless, she keeps a small jeweled ring Zara won for her at a carnival she was too sick to go to one year.
- Felicity: Costume locket. Just like with Z, Isadora no longer speaks to Felicity. Still, she keeps the small locket necklace that Felicity brought back from that same carnival.
Spell Words[edit | edit source]
- Word of Radiance: Firefly (Gnomish)
- Spare the Dying: Miss You (Gnomish)
- Toll the Dead: Listen (Gnomish)
- Guidance: I Believe (Gnomish)
- Turn Undead: Fear Me (Elvish)
- Twilight Sanctuary: Hearth (Gnomish)
- Cure Wounds: Mend (Elvish)
- Shield of Faith: Unshaken (Elvish)
- Guiding Bolt: Righteous (Elvish)
- Bless: Light of Corellon (Elvish)
- Sleep: Sweet Dreams (Gnomish)
- Lesser Restoration: As You Were (Elvish)
- Healing Word: Be Well (Gnomish)
- Inflict Wounds: Bleed (Elvish)
- Calm Emotions: Deep Breath (Elvish)
- Spiritual Weapon: Look Out (Gnomish)
- Remove Curse: Be Whole (Elvish)
- Revivify: Heartbeat (Elvish)
- Longstrider: Fleet Foot (Gnomish)
- Goodberry: Nourish (Gnomish)
Moodboard[edit | edit source]
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