>//UIB_CLEARANCE_ID_SPIRAL
>//checking…
>//ACCEPTED.
>//PARTIAL_ACCESS_GRANTED
Log Date: 5016U (10 years ago)
manticore77: holy shit
manticore77: you actually did it
manticore77: you hacked through my firewall
manticore77: congrats lol
honeybear: idk what im even looking at
honeybear: why are there so many docs that say “plans for castigation”
manticore77: theyre exactly what they say they are
honeybear: why does the last one just list out names
honeybear: am i looking at a fucking hit list
honeybear: am i liable by association now
manticore77: dont bother thinking like that lol
manticore77: its people the manticore code is going out to after im gone
honeybear: why are you planning for being gone
manticore77: oh
manticore77: oh honey
manticore77: i thought you knew horus
honeybear: not everything but enough
manticore77: honey
manticore77: the manticore is
manticore77: actually
manticore77: what do you think this forum is? how do you think you got access?
honeybear: idk i was fucking around and found out
manticore77: this place is called the resting grounds
manticore77: because everyone here is dead or has died or will die
manticore77: in one way or another
honeybear: oh
manticore77: i thought you knew
manticore77: because those are the only people who get access
honeybear: turns out im not as smart as i think i am
manticore77: for what it’s worth
manticore77: i was hoping you’d lose access at some point
honeybear: not there yet i guess
manticore77: you can get there if you want
manticore77: stay away from manticore code
manticore77: you seem like more of a goblin girl
honeybear: how soon
honeybear: when are your “castigation plans” happening
honeybear: just wondering
manticore77: one more month
Log Date: 5017U (9 years ago)
honeybear: i’ve been thinking
invademerchant56: so glad you got a new hobby
honeybear: shut up
honeybear: there’s so much i don’t get
honeybear: about ra
invademerchant56: RA
honeybear: thats what i typed
horuswitchO0O: capitals are important
horuswitchO0O: also
horuswitchO0O: not getting it is the point
horuswitchO0O: well its one of the points
honeybear: i dont want to study RA im not stupid
honeybear: existing is better than not existing
invademerchant56: good
invademerchant56: you can be trusted not to attach yourself to a manticore about to blow up
honeybear: …
honeybear: yeah
honeybear: back to the point
honeybear: what is the point actually
honeybear: RA is
honeybear: there
honeybear: and that’s it unless someone breaks the rules
horuswitchO0O: exactly
horuswitchO0O: it’s perfect
honeybear: ?
invademerchant56: there’s legit no better way from them to be
honeybear: im processing nothing
invademerchant56: process less
horuswitchO0O: let me put it this way
horuswitchO0O: what would you do if you could do everything and be everything?
honeybear: change
honeybear: change myself
honeybear: change a lot of other people
honeybear: terrible people
invademerchant56: thats great and all but where does the line get drawn before everything gets changed into something else and this universe ceases to exist?
honeybear: it gets drawn when it gets drawn
invademerchant56: incredibly vague and vaguely concerning
horuswitchO0O: i get it though
horuswitchO0O: we couldn’t handle being that much and not making everything constantly reckon with that
honeybear: why do u worship RA
horuswitchO0O: not everyone here worships the godhead
horuswitchO0O: what i have is reverence. there’s a difference
invademerchant56: im just too scared to not be involved
honeybear: ??
invademerchant56: RA is there and i can’t understand but i also can’t look away
invademerchant56: i’d go insane
honeybear: so you want to be close to the god that could end everything but not too close
invademerchant56: yep
horuswitchO0O: it’s another kind of reverence i think
invademerchant56: i don’t have another word for it
honeybear: one more question
invademerchant56: no u can’t talk to RA
honeybear: i can talk all i want
honeybear: also not my question
honeybear: does RA
honeybear: care?
horuswitchO0O: enough to not change us
Log Date: 5018U (8 years ago)
Title: i hate dreams
i saw the people who were dead but still living again. not much to say. i still hate it. it’s the only dream I’ve had for a year. it’s better when I don’t dream at all. then i don’t have to think about dad or jamu or azuka living past death and still suffering.
it felt like something was trying to reach me again. i don’t want to message mom. she can’t help me out here. she shouldn’t have to.
Log Date: 5018U (8 years ago)
Title: Communion?
The communion comes to me like a soaked dream / I remember dying and dying and dying again / First as a rod then as a cough then as an open mouth / I have died but my heart is still having aftershocks / I am a breathing convulsion of brain death / I have died but my ego can’t kill itself yet / The communion comes to me like a soaked dream / I open my mouth and am fed the breath of life / I open my mouth and am fed / I open my mouth / I will never have a communion with god / god can offer me nothing to eat / god is collective convulsion / This communion is with something that looks like me / it hasn’t died either
I remember writing this but I don’t remember being awake for it.
Log Date: 5018U (8 years ago)
Title: heartbeats are speaking now
i got another support mission today and everything was so loud. it was like humming in the other pilots’ chests. invade wasn’t lying when he said he was scared. he’s only okay when his heruka mech is about to punch someone out of their cockpit. i think witch might resent everyone. or she resents that no one is as quiet in the field as she is.
is this some kind of gift?